Thoughts of Z

I am Back!

2010-12-24T02:27:00.002+08:00

Seems like so frigging long since I last posted something;7 months and 4 days to be exact. So, here's a little update on what has taken place in these past 7 months:

I am officially done with semester 3, 5 more semesters before I bid studying goodbye and hello society! The debate club of UTM officially organized Iskandar Debating Championship and it turned out to be quite a success. The club, however is not in very good shape. A lot of planning needs to be done in the next semester. Well, I am enjoying what I study and hopefully can put them to good use. That's about it for uni.

Hm, come to think of it, when 2010 is mentioned, the only word that comes to mind is REBUILDING. I have gone through some really tough times this year with several issues lingering in my mind. Studies, relationship and also the walk of faith to name a few. It's time for me to move up one level in the walk with the Big Guy. Been challenged by Yosh to do something, which I will only reveal upon making it :P

In the meantime, I am gonna tuck my head into books ( both academics and non academics ) to be better in studies and my Christian walk. Secondly, gonna try to abuse..I mean take opportunity of uni's funding to visit countries, if not just all around Malaysia =) Thirdly, to put down the gun. Hehe. You saw that right. Yours truly is coming out of the battlefield of love and not planning to get in just yet. Hopefully I can walk the talk =)

It's Christmas eve, and a long day ahead for me. Still, wish you all a great christmas eve and a merry christmas! Spread a little joy, a little love and enjoy this weekend! XD

1 and a half month on

2010-05-19T14:33:00.002+08:00

I realised the previous posts were all kinda emo, no wonder my results also went emo. Haha! So, here for now, is gonna be different. Well, what have I been doing since holidays begun? Let's see..

1st up, I visited UKM. Yes! 1 more universities cross off on my list of universities to visit. Up till today, I have managed to visit UM,UTHM,UMS,and of course UTM! Was in UKM for a debate tournament and realised how sucky/rusty I have gotten after not debating for so long. Aih~ Anyways, trip to Thailand was cancel by UTM due to political unstability. That was a huge turn off as we were all so eager to participate and visit Bangkok.

Hm, had a great time of food and fun with friends in hometown. Soon, it's back to UTM and 3 weeks of working for an upcoming conference. Been trying to be more committed and give 110% in my work. Has to skip church camp for this event. Hopefully I made the right decision >.<

On the brighter side of things, I have been trying to understand the Old Testament. Anyone has any suggestion on how to comprehend it better?

Hopefully I can post something philosophical like last time or maybe just pictures for my next post. Haha. For now, TZH out! Road trip tomorrow! Whee!!!!

Once More..

2010-04-27T17:30:00.002+08:00

I am crushed once again. This semester's result is by far the worst in my entire study life. It's also because it's cumulative thus it will be taken into calculation for GPA which makes it even more sucky. I got a C+ for a final! I seriously do not know what went wrong. I am lost, terribly lost in both studies and faith. I guess I have survived on my own strength throughout sem 2 and forgot where God is. Right now, I really am tired, not knowing if worse is yet to come.

I need to change..desire to change..hope to cling unto You..

I really wish for some sort of miracles now..>.<

Bye bye 1st class..for now..I am sure I will see you again in year 2 sem 1!

Aloha!

2010-04-26T04:43:00.003+08:00

Hi people, I am back to the blogging world. Seriously, I have been missing for ages because of writer's block and university's stuffs. It's like I sort of forgot how simple little things always makes life unique and forgot how to live a life. Truth be told, I was a little lost in my walk of faith and my studies. Now I am recovering little by little so yea, do keep me in prayers!

On the brighter side of things, I finished year 1! Wuhoo! Well, it isn't all bed of roses for university's life. I still have an attitude problem when making friends, I still slack in studies sometimes, giving myself a lot of excuses because of the activities that I am involved in and still study last minute. I am keeping my finger crossed for my sem 2 results. Officially, I am a senior comes this july.

So, I have a 3 months break, what do I do? If any of you have any plans or need any help, do let me know. I have some plans but that might change thus this 3 months is gonna be something like a spontaneous basis. Hehe. Hope to write longer next time!

Renewed..

2010-03-18T02:25:00.002+08:00

3 more weeks to my finals,5 more weeks to finishing year 1 in university. Truth be told, my semester 2 isn't very well, in fact, I am suffering. I gave myself too much excuses, gave in to my laziness and now I am paying the price. I am scared, afraid of how I will fare for finals but I know worrying doesn't help.

On another side of things, I seem to be living in and of this world as contrary to how I should be. I don't remember when was the last time I look forward to going church, look forward to reading His word. All those became like a duty, done out of responsibility, not free-will. I slacked, totally in my life for most of semester 2. But today, I know God has not given up on me. What I read in Numbers showed God's faithfulness and His promise when we are in the right relationship with Him.
The Israelites did not reduce in numbers and was prospering even in the desert! It's just like how I am like right now. Signs are not showing very good prospect for 3 subjects I am taking but I believe God will bring me through. It's time to go back to basic..more of Him and less of me.

No more excuses..fighting mode on! Yes, today I felt renewed..today I felt God once again..XD

Post CNY

2010-02-23T15:42:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year people! It's after all still the Chinese New Year period,right? CNY holidays as all of you know have come and gone. Somehow, I wished I could have grasped and made use of each moment better. Well, 7 more agonizing weeks before I officially finished year 1 of university life. CNY this year was rather different, I don't really know what words to use to describe it but it's just different from previous years. Perhaps the transition from carefree teenage life to serious young adult has finally sipped in. Nonetheless, it was still a great time catching up with relatives and friends. Not forgetting the ever growing amount of Ang Pow $$..XD

I was sitting in lecture earlier and started to daydream a little. I just realized that I had somehow misused my 20 years of life so far. I did not exactly utilized very well, or rather I learnt from mistakes. Haha. There's just so many things I figured out I have not learnt or done. Shoots..Turning 20 is pretty scary! Well, I guess all I can do now is start using time better and use every seconds wisely. Maybe I can start with spending more time with God..then books..haha..Hello World, Bye Bye CNY..

Negeri Di Bawah Bayu

2010-02-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

I am back! For those who don't know, I went over to Sabah last Thursday, thus the title of my post, Sabah's nickname. It was my 1st time going over to East Malaysia and landing on Kota Kinabalu ( KK ) was really exciting. I was there to participate in the Borneo Debating Championship organised by UMS. It was a good learning yet traumatizing tournament, but visiting Sabah was definitely fun!

1st up, I met up with Paulus on Friday, had a short and good time catching up and meeting his cell leader, getting to know 1st hand how he's living over in Sabah. Was supposed to join him for cg that night but debate ended very late thus I could not. Instead, we went to Filipino Market to eat grilled seafood. It's really cheap, but not very clean. Some were really fresh and delicious, others, debateable. Haha. Oh yea, I also got to travel around UMS and got a good view of the campus.

Saturday came and we went to Mamutik Island, a beautiful island off the shores of KK. We went there by boat and did some water activities. Well, I chose to just walked around and snapped pictures instead of being in the water. It was a very relaxing and fun time. At night, it was free and easy and we just walked around KK town to further explore it. It's definitely eye opening to see lives of Sabahan and despite KK being a city, we still do get to see scenes similar to Slumdog Millionaire.

I went to Skyline Church on Sunday, courtesy of Esther, Paulus's friend in Sabah. It was really different attending a service in a charismatic church and attending a church based in a hotel by the seaside! The sermon was good too. It made me realised that whether as a Christian or a debater, if I do not have the substance or materials, which comes by lots of hard work, I will not be able to proceed further. I will always just remain in the morality plain and also lawlessness as preached by the pastor. It was like a knock in the head after so long to really touch on my laziness issue to read, both the bible and my studies materials. I did not do well for some of my papers btw!>.<

Monday morning came and we explored more of KK, buyingh souvenirs for friends and family. It was a great time making so many new friends and added onto my map that I have explored another place. Hehe. Pictures will be up soon on my facebook. Next up, Chinese New Year!!

Week 4, Year 2010

2010-01-19T16:54:00.002+08:00

So peeps, I am finally back into the blogging world. Seriously, I really don't know what to blog about thus the hiatus. Well, just a little update on the recent happenings in my life for today. I am still thinking of writing something philosophical but not today I guess. Hehe..

First up, uni life finally moved into the high speed it's supposed to be. The month of December had too much holidays during weekends, which I have no complaints about. XD
Test 1 approaching with 2 subjects down. D.E Test last wednesday was okay. Screwed up a little during Soil Mechanics this morning though, thus the wake up call to work harder, till CNY 1st that is. Haha.

Moving on, yours truly also went for Southern Cup Debating Championship in UTHM earlier this month, ranked 12 out of 28 teams. Definitely would have loved to break but well, it was fun to be team up with Wen Zhe and Zhang though. Imagine putting 3 whips together in one team. Haha.

Then, I had the trekking camp too. I didn't know Mersing has such high mountain till I climbed it and was so dead tired afterwards. The view from the top was great though. It was a nice experience and I sort of find the more adventurous side of me. Mayb more jungle trekking and mountain climbing in times to come? haha

Right now, AIESEC's STEP is moving on gear 4, at extremely fast paced. Gotta work harder to secure sponsorship. Sobs..Been slacking alot in terms of that. In addition, I got to move one level in my spiritual walk too, which is like on top of the priority list now. I know, actions :P

I am like having so much time with so much to do, so that leaves me with no chance to "socialize", if you get what I mean. Hehe. Till then, peeps keep in touch!

Hello 2010

2010-01-01T18:37:00.003+08:00

A very happy new year to each and everyone of you all! How did you all spend the last day of 2009? Clubbing away? Countdown party in some hotspot? Or you spent it quietly at home with your family? For me, it was a whole new different countdown this time round. This is the first time I countdown away from home, in Skudai. I spent the night attending the covenant service in Hebron. It was a time of reflection and reminder of 2009 and an opportunity to renew our covenant with God once again as we enter into the new year. Pastor Daniel did something called The Stations Of Milestones, showcasing events that had taken place throughout the year 2009. As we walked to each stations, we meditated and took a moment to just think and looked back at those moments. It was quite new to me and fruitful as well as I began to understand and open my mind towards listening to Him. Oh well, next was pretty crazy. 11 youths went and stayed at Sister Jessie's place and most of us did not sleep until 5 am. I sort of have a good 3 hours of talk with Ezra and when morning came, I left for home. So I am back here in Kluang. haha! For work purpose, kie? Not come back for fun. All right now, wishing you all a blessed 2010 ahead once again!

Back To Work..

2009-12-26T22:51:00.003+08:00

Time to get back to work. After two weeks of adrenalin rush for the festive season, everything is finally falling back into place. Not much reasons for me to go MIA from Skudai anymore. Studies for sem 2 has kicked in and picking up the pace. However, 2 of my lecturers said they want to go for a vacation so I prolly will have less lectures next week! What a start to semester 2. On the bright side of things, I guess it's time to finally settle down in Skudai. The next time you people see me around in KLuang, it's probably during the Chinese New Year break.

This whole week has somewhat been a little messy but the puzzle finally is pieced together this afternoon after a short tea session with Yosh. The whole Christmas season like I have said previously just feel so weird. One thing's for sure, it's back to the beginning of what I set out to do upon leaving for uni. What have I accomplished? Not much I guess. I need to work harder in order to open more windows to see more things from Him I supposed. Fuh. It ain't gonna be a simple journey but I definitely hope I am ready. Servanthood, spiritual growth, civil engineering studies, here I come!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2009-12-25T01:23:00.003+08:00

The title says it all, it's Christmas again. The long awaited festival at the end of each year is finally here once again. After a month's long of decorations and sales, the day came and soon will be gone. Christmas this year for me has been very different in many aspects. But before I go further, let me first wished all you readers Merry Xmas and Blessed New Year!

This is the first Christmas that I am not on holidays. Previously, I am either on graduation break or school holidays break during Christmas but UTM started class early this semester thus I traveled back and forth to join the events here in Kluang. First up, I came back last Thursday to join a I Love Kluang Project to give out uniforms to a community and then a Christmas Cheer event in Kluang Mall on Sunday. Went back to Uni and came back on Wednesday to make it just in time for Carolling last night. The highlight of the whole Christmas season, The 1 Joy 1 Kluang event at Taman Tasek. It's a joint collaboration between churches in Kluang to celebrate and countdown to Christmas together. This event and carolling on the 23rd, when it is usually on the eve made Christmas special for me this year too.

Oh well, I took on the job to be a clown again and hopefully did my share of job to entertain the crowd there. It was a massive events with lots of performances and a whole loads of people. Kluang seems so Christmassy last night! Haha. These 2 weeks have made me realised that there's still so much for me to learn, so much for me to do before I embark on a new journey to start acting like a young adult. Of course I should do things a young adult will do however that I supposed should come in stages so I am gonna enjoy serving the Lord and remembering Him in the days of my youth above all else!

I have always embraced the belief that Christmas is a time to share a smile and spread the joy! So let's all be jolly and celebrate! Once again, a blessed Christmas all!

P/S : The writer welcomes presents from everyone of you, in fact you all should give as a sign of blessings unto the writer, no? :P

Royals 09

2009-12-08T18:51:00.003+08:00

Royals or better known as Royal Intervarsity Debating Championship was held in Universiti Malaya this year. I took part in the senior category of the tournament by chance and had a fun time in KL. It was supposed to be a debating tournament but somehow turned out to be a trip where the UTM team travel around and eat and had fun. As a beginner, I guessed I did pretty decent partnering 2 3rd year seniors. We had 2 wins out of a possible 5. We did not make it to the quarter finals though, making each of us rather disappointed. It was an intriguing time debating and seeing others' point of views and getting adjudication on how I can be a better debater. The tournament was good with some not so good arrangements by UM but well, let's not criticize the number 1 uni in Malaysia. It was like a food trip too, ate Ipoh Taugeh Chicken at Jalan Gasing, mamak at Murni in SS2, Jalan Alor's frog porridge, Alexis Bar's expensive cake, Sake Sushi and Shah Alam's char siew. It was really fun hanging out with those seniors of mine. Too bad I did not make too many new friends. Haha. Well, pictures on the trip will be up on fb! so do visit my page! XD

Survey Camp

2009-12-02T02:12:00.003+08:00

And so I went back to UTM on 15th evening, slept in my friend's room and headed for registration for the survey camp the next morning. Basically survey camp is where we put what we learnt in engineering surveying to practice and our destination, Kuala Linggi, Malacca where the project requires us to come up with a plan to widen the existing road. It was a bittersweet 9 days in Malacca. One thing's for sure, friendship was built and bonds become stronger. I really love and am proud being a UTM-er with you all!

The journey started on 16th morning and we reached there about late afternoon. Briefing was given the night and field work kicked off the next morning. We were behind schedule due to lack of practice and also the weather. We admit we could and should have been more efficient as we know weather during end of the year is never that good. It was scorching out at times and pouring like there's no tomorrow at other. Well, we somehow managed to complete our projects and submitted everything on the final day. I guess no one can forget about all the "lectures" we got and the challenges to think out of the box. My teammates were great too. Mazen, an international student totally worked his butt off for the team and I salute him for that! Haha! Amira, Faisal, Hazwani and Faer, you guys rock! Glad to be in a team! =)

Foodwise, I have no complaints lar although you would have wished for better food. Facing the Malacca Straits everyday is quite an experience. The sunrise, sunset and the breeze along the storm. It really does show how amazing the creation of God is.

For more pictures, do visit my facebook to view them there. To all, thanks for making this survey camp memorable.

Next up, KL here I come XD

This is Me?

2009-11-25T02:44:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

You guys do the verdict. Haha! I played it for fun upon seeing it on a friend's blog.
All comments are most welcome and I do wanna hear from you all readers of my blog!

Once Again..

2009-10-30T23:06:00.001+08:00

Just came back from CG. Felt recharged as it has been long since I really let go of everything. Ever since entering uni, attending church and cg and youth has been like a chore more than fun. It's like I am there for the sake of fulfilling a duty. Sometimes, I even go MIA. I have been dry and I wont be shy to admit it. Somehow I am just seeking to be replugged into that power supply, God but I kept using my own strength thus effort proves to be vain.

But today, things took change. I enjoy people's presence but I was reminded of God's presence. Spending some time alone with the Almighty as Moses always do when he withdraw to his tent outside the main camp. I lacked that quality time with God and constantly think I can do better, but ended up being disappointed. I put in very little effort yet I expect to sow a good results. However, God's grace has definitely been good that I am still hanging in there for good results. It may not be the best but sometimes it certainly isnt what I deserve. Haha. I know I need the presence of others to recharge me and I know I need Him more to supply me with energy. Once again, I am on the move. I will do my best, be grateful and rock on!

Dreamy Me..

2009-10-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

Finished 3 papers for my finals so far. Don't think I did very well for my survey earlier this morning. It's really tiring to see people soar higher than you sometimes or maybe I am just expecting a little too much with very little effort. Haha. I really don't know what's gonna happen but guess I just have to work harder. People, pray for me ya! 2 more papers. I have seen beyond the results after STPM, or so I thought. I am still putting too much emphasis on being top of the bunch once again. Aih~ Time to shed off this sort of thinking and just work more, talk less I guess. Dreamy me! Out!

Time Warp

2009-10-15T02:16:00.002+08:00

Bravo to all PMR students for completing the first public exam in secondary school. Next up is SPM and for some, probably STPM. Hm, 5 years back, I took my PMR. Forward to 2 years later, came SPM. And fast forward another 2 years, I finished STPM. Now, I am finishing my 1st semester in university. 1 down, 7 more to go. I havent been updating much since entering Uni, firstly because the line sometimes sucks and secondly, I seem to lost the touch for blogging. But somehow, a feeling overwhelm me today to try and blog a long long post. Hehe. So bear with me if you are reading this.

Apparently the older you grow, the faster you feel time passes by. In a blink of an eye, I am left with 7 semesters to go, like what I have just said. Next week will be a study week for me with 3 weeks of final examinations after that. I thank God for placing me here in Skudai. It was really great to have a church and its members to take care of my growth, both spiritually and emotionally. Still looking around to see how I can serve better, so for Hebronites, thank you. I know I am always MIA but I still love you all! Haha.

Currently, I am reading a book called A Month To Live, talking about how you should spend your life when you have a month left. Frankly, living everyday as if it's your last, definitely is much more fruitful. You waste less one second, build one more relationship and bless and extra soul if you really go all out to love. I am always feeling slackish and tired but I know if I am plugged into the POWER source of all, I will be doing fine. I still fall now and then but God never fails to pick me up. Thank God for a really cool bunch of coursemates too, not forgetting the really great seniors that I have, from different faculties. Currently I am involved in AIESEC, debating club and also IK in uni. Uni life really is sweet, however there is still a lazy bug in me that needs some sorting out. So please support me with all your prayers=)

As for my status, well, I am still single and seeking. Haha. I know, Joanne will be so fired up to see this. I just said I am seeking, not taking actions. Singlehood is fun at the same time, a bit challenging. Seeing your friends pairing up as time pass by, is kind of a weird feeling. Haha. Oh well, like every wise old man will say YOUR TIME WILL COME so I can just wait? haha.

I am definitely feeling time is really flying. From joining YMI at the start of the year till now, finishing 2009. It's amazing how much I have learned in a year. It's also amazing how I am slacking off in faith within 2-3 months. Transition from teens to young adult isnt all about fun. It's about growing up, responsibility. I see a lot of changes ever since I left Kluang, for better or worse. So for Kluangites who are struggling, I am here supporting you all! Remember, ACCEPTANCE not TOLERANCE is the key to problem-less, not problemless..meaning less prob life. Just like how our Father in Heaven accepts our shortcomings. Argh.. I guess I have nagged long enough

Finally, STPM and SPM candidates, all the best! Remember, it isn't just about As. It's about giving your best. Regardless of what you got, you know that is all you gave, so no regrets. I fell from strings of As to no A in STPM. It's truly by His grace I am where I am, doing what I want. So have faith, give thanks and rock the school! For uni students, all the best for finals and hope to see you all real soon during sem break. I definitely miss you people. You know who you are! :P

Recharged!

2009-09-27T01:47:00.002+08:00

The Raya holidays has come to an end. A long 11 days break from lectures,tutorials and notes was quite fun. Yours truly have alot to complete but choose to have fun,work later. This theory definitely is not a good one thus people, do not follow! Haha. Well, it was definitely great to catch up once more with so many friends. Everyone is busy with everything and as time passes by, we seldom see each other. It was definitely a great time sleeping at home and eating all the good food too! People say when you are in uni, you slim down. That statement does not apply to me at any point!

Well, will be heading back to UTM tomorrow. Lots of test coming. Fuh!!! At least I had my share of fun and shopping the past week. I went KL to meet up with my sister and donated a little to charity. Had late night yum chas session again. Not forgetting a small gathering at my house. Aw..The sweet things that was such a norm during the 6 months break. I wish everyone here happy schooling once more! And for those travelling, a safe journey back!

Selamat Hari Raya~

2009-09-17T14:45:00.001+08:00

A very Selamat Hari Raya to every Malaysians and all my Muslim friends. As we are 1Malaysia, all of us should celebrate on this joyous festival. Hehe. Yours truly is home after 3 weeks. A good improvement from being a PBSM. So, a little update on what I have done so far.

I have had my 2nd calculus test last Friday, hopefully I did okay. Had a steamboat outing with coursemates, that Saturday night was great and I hope I did not screw up the outing. I need to learn to handle my thoughts better and also to be a better friend. Am still learning and growing. Well, Sunday was church service. I know, finally I went to Hebron for Sunday service. The previous Sunday I was in Cyberjaya MMU for a competition. I managed to catch up with Gideon too while I was there. Hehe.

Well, I had a dream the other day that God is saying let MY timing be yours. So I guessed that sort of answer a lot questions that I have been wanting to ask and things I want to do. I think I am just gonna enjoy my time and walk every step as He guide. In the meantime, people, have fun!

Summer Holidays!

2009-09-02T00:54:00.002+08:00

Well, studying in Malaysia doesnt exactly let you experience 4 seasons but since it's summer over in the northern hemisphere so I thought of telling what happened throughout the month of August. I had my 1st test in UTM, faring okay for every paper I took. Next test coming in a week's time. Haha!

Well, besides test I have had a lot of fun too hence the title! Firstly, I attended Hebron's Church Camp and it was great. Austin Hill Golf Resort rocks! We played paintball, jacuzzi and some indoor games. It was superbly great with great prices to pay especially paintball. Haha. It was great being able to spend time with Ezra and gang too. Dr Simon Locke, the speaker is still as good as ever with his messages. Pastor Daniel proposed to his long time gf and that definitely is the highlight of the whole camp! Hm, this weekend might be making a trip to Malacca and the next, staying in JB. So technically I havent gone home or wont be going home for quite awhile. Hehe.

Till then, stay tuned!

No Reason To Fail

2009-08-22T13:39:00.002+08:00

Yet another little look into another week of my life. Yes, I know, it's not very interesting nor is it very attractive however, I will still update. Haha. The week has been surrounded by rumours that UTM will be closing due to the influenza A(H1N1) which did not materialise. Lectures went on as usual, with yet another day of surveying in the hot sun. Everyone came back to hostel with laptops they bought last weekend at the pc fair so the study room is now literally a cybercafe at night. Haha.

Moving on to something interesting, I took a taxi to Sri Putri as usual to catch a bus home. On the way, I had a little conversatiob with the uncle. He asked what course am I doing and is it my choice. For the latter, I answered yes and what he said next suddenly just struck me there.

"OHh, macam tu NO REASON TO FAIL lar..." and bla bla bla. What he said is indeed very true. In life, when we chose to do what we love and like and really enjoy doing, there's no reason to fail or rather to hold us back, right? No doubts, setbacks will be there but we will pull through because it's something we enjoy and we made that DECISION which leads me to what I want to say next, THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG DECISION nor is there GOOD OR BAD DECISION but there's only YOUR's OR THEIR's DECISION. People tend to get influence by many factors such as friends, parents and better future in pursuing the course or doing things they want. So to all SPM-ers and STPM-ers or even uni students, go for something you have a passion for. May it be cooking, singing or doing engineering. It's about finding where God wants you to be and what you really want. If doing something doesnt bring peace or enjoyment to you, then think again if that's really worth it. Life's too short to live other people's decision and life for them..>.<

Well, just a little thought from TZH after a long while. For your information, I am enjoying what I am studying so yea..no complains! Hehe!

A Month On..

2009-07-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

Yours truly is sick, with a bad sore throat but recovering. My friends were teasing that thanks to me, UTM finally will be closed down but well, I am just fine, not H1N1! A little update on university life. It's been a month since I left for UTM and yes, I do come back every weekend. Studies is getting more interesting, at the same time harder.

Calculus has moved into chapter 2, a little similar to form 6 maths. Test next week so pray for me ya. Gotta work harder as apparently maths is basic for engineering.>.<

Fluid mechanics is fun, especially with my lecturer being the author of the book we used and also creating his own programme for calculating forces. My lecturer is an interesting character and his classes are never dull, with exercises and also his drawings. Haha. Had the 1st quiz too.

Surveying is fun yet tough and pure hardwork. I actually had to redo my levelling practical and thank God, I managed to complete it the 2nd time round. By the way, surveying means literally ukur jalan!

Engineering drawing, one of my most feared for exams. Haha. I can't draw as well as my friends and also need to learn to draw faster and love drawing but well, it's quite fun. I've never drawn so much in my life!

I have two LAN subjects too which I will talk about them next time! So there you have it, what I've been doing in UTM. I am trying to get myself involve in more out of class activity too. So, stay tuned!

Journey Begins

2009-07-12T01:15:00.001+08:00

Hi peeps, for most Kluangites,I know you guys have seen me for 2 straight weeks but nonetheless,I havent really gotten the chance to catch up with you people so here's a little update. I have started life in UTM,which I still wake up every morning with much disbelief that I am an undergraduate now. Haha. UTM is fantastic with its facilities but the hostel is a little old, and the WIFI, disappointing but well, I am learning to appreciate things. I have settled in well and bonded with quite a number of people,including seniors. However, I have no chinese gals in my class so yeah, I guess God is telling me to study hard for the next 4 years! >.<

Lectures have begun and so far so good. I hope it stays this way. Moving into gear 1 and gonna get into gear 2 soon I believe. With many activities and more heavy lectures, life will soon be hectic. So Kluangites, I assure you. You wont see me that often! I guess this is a good thing for you all? haha. Anyways, will update soon with more pictures and on lessons!

Going Off...

2009-06-26T12:29:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow marks a whole new journey for yours truly. I think the whole I AM LEAVING thingy is beginning to hit me. As I packed, I was feeling kind of weird. For real, I am leaving Kluang. For those who don't know, yours truly is heading to Universiti Teknologi Malaysia in Skudai for his undergraduate studies. And yes, I will be going there tomorrow. It has been a geart 18 and a half years in Kluang. Nonetheless, every friendship I have made, every tears I have wept, every laugh I have laughed. It was great, and to leave, is really not easy!

So, here I am to bid farewell to the Kluang peeps as I wont be seeing you guys in YF or church or other events. Take care, people. And like every Terminator movie, I WILL BE BACK! Do keep me in prayers as I go through my uni life. Take care and see you all soon!

5 Years..Part II

2009-06-21T00:22:00.003+08:00

Remember I posted something regarding what my secondary school friends and I will be 5 years down the road? Well, everything is sure for now, at least as of degree level. Haha!

So here it goes..

Lim Zheng Wei - Metropolitan College ( Finance )
Ivan Wu Zhia Ming - Universiti Malaya ( Physics )
Lai Yu Kang - Nanyang Technological University ( Maths )
Tan Zhi Howe - Universiti Teknologi Malaysia ( Civil Engineering )
Sin Wei Ching - Nanyang Polytechnic ( Accounting )
Ho May Yun - Universiti Teknologi Petronas ( Chemical Engineering )
Ng Ling Fong - Universiti Malaysia Sabah ( Medicine )
Chow Kah Hung - Cal Poly Pomona ( Biotech)
Ong Li Teng - University of Arizona ( Molecular and Cellular Biology )
Ng Wei Wei - Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia ( Medicine )
Lee Mei Kee - Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia ( Dietician )
Hoo Jia Yan - Cal Poly Pomona ( Biotech)
Aaron Wong - Institut Perguruan in Kedah ( TESL )
Lim Zhi Guang - Melbourne University ( Civil Engineering )
Wong Sieow Phey - Universiti Malaya ( Music )
Tan Ing Hau - Monash University ( Economics )
Ong Yok Soon - Inti College Subang Jaya ( IT )
Ma Jih Jing - Universiti Malaysia Sarawak ( Finance )
Soh Yew Jin - KDU College ( IT )
Lee Tian Woon - Inti University College ( IT )
Tew Wan Xin - Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts ( smtg related to arts )

Thank You!

2009-06-20T05:10:00.000+08:00

God is indeed great. All glory to Him and Him alone. I got admission into Universiti Teknologi Malaysia in Skudai to pursue a degree in civil engineering, my first choice course! I am really happy and thankful for my results wasnt the best of them all yet I made it into one of the more established university in Malaysia. Surely, it is by His grace. So, here I am want to thank all of you for your prayers, words of encouragement and of course, your company!

For all my friends, let's work hard and have fun in uni!

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..

2009-06-18T16:56:00.003+08:00

After almost 3 months of killing millions of brain cells, the people from University Placement Unit can finally take a break from their duty comes tomorrow. Tomorrow marks the entry into a new stage of life. 3 or 4 more years and we will no longer be called students. Tens of thousands of people eagerly waiting for the verdict. It will be released at 11 am on the 19th of June 2009.

I am surprisingly calm yet super worried at the same time. Haha. How contradicting. Yet another phobia to face and overcome. But, I am ready, for better or worse. I will still give You praise and I wish every applicants out there best of luck. Whatever the result is, I will look at my form 6 life this way, I saved my parents 30K and I went through a good foundation programme. >.<

Let what people say, politics or not, justice is in Him. So have faith, will work! Good luck people!

Fast Wait Pray ( FWP )

2009-06-09T22:58:00.002+08:00

That is the name of our "camp" held in Seremban from Sunday till today's afternoon. To give a little idea and background of what this is all about, it's held at Glory Place in Mantin, Seremban where fpr 3 days, we did exactly the three things. We FAST from food, WAIT upon the Lord and PRAY like we have never pray before. It was indeed a good time of really strengthening my faith. There were a total of 49 people joining this year around.

To begin with, I doubted if I am actually ready for this. It's true that I do struggle in my prayer life and I do get distracted or lost while prayer is going on. However, I know that is no excuse for me not to squeeze every ounce of me to pray and so I did. I decided to do a few things which I have never done before in FWP. I also learnt the true meaning of FASTING.

From the camp, as how Ezra has written, we were all super hypocrites, to sum it simply and we are too driven by WORKS, not FAITH nor Him. We think we are doing good by doing a lot spiritual activity but God struck us all. With the simple thing, condition of our hearts. If we do not fix that, it's like we are a leaking pail, whatever is poured in, comes back out. God showed us fire too in visions received by some others which they believed we need to grasp this fire and keeps it burning as we have dropped the fire before. Everyone started to do things from scratch again, literally redefining the meaning of living for Him, knowing Him and doing His will.

I don't dare to say I have moved a large step in my walk with God but definitely, I know there's more to go with, the journey has just started and I, need to deal with my heart...

Are you ready for this exciting journey?

Week in,Week out..

2009-06-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

22 weeks have passed in the year 2009 and soon, the 23rd week will end too. Sitting in front of the computer with nothing much in the head, it's really hard to think of what to blog. I shall update you readers a little about my week 22 and week 23. If something philosophical do pop up while I am writing, probably you will read them too.

I just came back from church camp and it was my first time attending church camp. It was different from all the previous camps I went to, probably because the other camps consist of mostly youths while this one is more family oriented. There's quite a few lessons learnt but what I would like to highlight is probably the part where the speaker spoke about looking at the bigger picture. I have always looked at other people's flaw and trying to think as bad as possible of them to make myself look and feel superior but yet at the end, everything went the other way. I was so focus on them, when I should look more onto myself. To try my best to preserve unity too is important. I piss people off easily. >.< And of course, not forgetting God's promises which I am hoping my deepest desire now would be fulfilled. However, may Thy will be done.

Next up, was of course the long awaited MYPG. Me going for MYPG was pretty much a surprise decision as I did not in the very 1st place wanted to go. But I made up my mind to go up north and definitely this trip paid off, whether in terms of just meeting again with friends or seeking Him.

I would be leaving for FWP, another event tomorrow and will be back by Tuesday. So till then, stay tune folks. I don't know what is to come but I am awaiting with both hopes and excitement!

What The Cow..

2009-05-29T23:43:00.002+08:00

As expected,I did not get into USM as well. Apparently, all the top institutions seem elusive to me with my results. Sure, I have more than enough reasons to give thanks. However, the human's regrets always stick around with us, especially me. This is the first time in life when I experience constant rejection, one after another. A blow to the face, then the chest and everywhere else that is vulnerable. I am disliking the feeling of waiting, not knowing what will come out of it. I am starting to get abit pissed with myself. Why did I, a guy who knew what exactly he needed and a lot more other stuffs, fooled around with life, and ended up stuck in the middle of nowhere. I am gonna hang on for a little while more, I don't know how much is left of me, but definitely not much. I want to do Your will..

TZH out..hoping for one miracle in life..

Week 21

2009-05-23T00:20:00.003+08:00

It's approximately one more month before I leave for university. The results are still pending while some friends already made up their mind about where they are going to be, at least for the next 3 to 4 years. This week has been yet another packed week with 2 trips, 1 to Malacca and travelling to JB tomorrow. The Malacca trip was to bring Victor around and hang out with Gideon before he leaves for MMU. It was nice catching up on the old times and seeing your reactions to those events! >.<

I will be travelling down to JB with Paulus to visit the Hebronites. Trying to munch out as much beneficial moments as possible from my holidays. I think my engine is definitely oil-less. Needs a lot of power to start it up again. Aih~ Pollution is already bad nowadays! >.< On lighter note, I just watched Angels and Demons. It's not bad but I definitely preferred The Da Vinci Code more. Just so not to spoil it for those who havent watch, I wont go into detail about the movie.

I will be watching Night At The Museum 2 this coming Sunday. Dumb Dumbs, anyone want Gum Gum?:P

Mixed Fortunes

2009-05-16T11:24:00.002+08:00

A thoroughly active week along,with 5 days of exercise. I hope Mr Fats is on his way out of my body with all these. Haha. It's been a week of mixed fortunes, like I have stated. I found out I got rejected by NUS, finally. After weeks of agonising, wondering if it's a ray of hope or just a pure illusion, the answer is out. You guessed it! It was the latter. I will appeal anyway, since it's free. Hehe.

On the bright side of things, I got accepted by UNITEN to study Civil Engineering. I am still waiting for the local U's results. A little worried cause I put NO when they asked if I am willing to accept other courses. But, nothing can be done, right? Learning faith, waiting and trusting Him. Can't help but to always think of the gains and losses throughout my 2 years stay after form 5. I know, I am emo! >.< Well, I have come to a point of trying to look at things from a different perspective.

Matthew 6 : 33 has been some sort of reminder for me to seek Him first and a promise that the rest will be added unto me. Perhaps I am asking too much of Him and seek Him for what He can do, not who He is. Changing that! >.< I want to learn to be like Job, and not the Israelites. To continue to believe and worship Him even when things look tough. 2009, what will be written of me at the end of this year?

Success Re-Defined?

2009-05-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

The question today is DEFINE SUCCESS.

My life was structured on results in the past. In other words, studies. I can actually say I am quite proud at my own achievements since young and no, i wasn't just lucky. I did pay for it with my own hard work, which was not seen by most of you. So, when form 6 comes by, I thought I could fare equally well but boy, was I wrong enough. I managed to scrape through the momentary "hell", both emotionally and physically(studies) and I was struck with the 1st setback in my student life. Lo and behold, my friends started talking about what university they should choose and if they should head to Singapore and here I am, not even knowing what will come next.

Pastor Paul asked me a question on the day I did a career development test. He asked What Was My Biggest Setback throughout life and I answered him my form 6 life. The reply he gave was somewhat encouraging yet scary. He told me that this is just a small setback and in times to come, the road will be harder. I am trying my best to cling onto my faith and put aside all my personal jealousy towards my friends who did really well. I couldn't help but think of the WHAT IFS. Aih~

Psalms 107 was a comforting passage as I found out on Wednesday. It speaks of us having the privilege to call unto God when we are in distress and He will hear us. This is like a promise from Him to provide miracle when there seems none. Right now, I am learning to have faith. I am telling myself that I need to make the best of every opportunity and every moment in life. Right now, I am redefining success. I hope that I will be able to do what I am, where I am, if it's Your will..

Future...Undecided

2009-04-27T17:54:00.003+08:00

Thank you all for the comments on the previous post. It's always easy to say that probably it's not in God's plan for me to study in Singapore. However, to be able to really accept that fact and live with it, it's hard. Let's just say I had a moderate amount of good things happening in the past and would love to have that streak continue with me doing well in STPM and get a place in NUS or NTU. But as the fact shows, everything ended up the other way round. I thought I was all ready to go study in UMS since I chose there as one of my options besides UTM and UKM. My marks are barely enough for UM,UPM and USM, but still, a miracle might happen? I wish..Haha

Speaking of which, I suddenly have this question around me. Do I really want to study engineering and is it really my calling? Several conversations with Isaac make me want to confirm and give my all to make it a success. There's 2 will according to Jit, God's will and my own. Am I waiting on Him? I dont' know but I know I am waiting for miracles to happen! Haha. It will be May soon and 2009 is like passing so fast. To some of my friends, yes, being humble is good but being TOO humble sometimes make you sound like a hypocrite. Yes, I respect you and therefore I kept quiet for I know I need to learn to talk myself but please, bear in mind the feelings of the people listening when you say you WONT achieve certain things and yet ABLE to get it. I am sad, at the same time furious and envy. Arggh! Something's wrong with me.

Pause..That's where my life is at now, when is PLAY gonna be click and me resume chasing after my dreams with all my heart,soul and strength?>.<

Rejected

2009-04-24T00:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Tan Zhi Howe,

We have carefully considered your application vis-a-vis applications from all other eligible applicants. Regrettably, however, I have to inform you that your application has not been successful. I hope that you would appreciate the fact that admission to our undergraduate courses is highly selective in view of the large number of applications we receive, and the limited places that we can offer to international students. I appreciate the time and effort you have put in to submit your application and I thank you for your interest in our University. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you every success in your pursuit for higher education

.Dr Lalit Goel,
Dean of Admissions
Nanyang Technological University

I supposed the above text tells it all. Yes, I have been rejected. Then again, with only a 3.00 what was I expecting, right? Haha. I believed I will get about 2 more such e-mails in the coming week. Well, at least I can still laugh at myself. So, share a laugh. =)

Life Is A Joke..

2009-04-07T18:20:00.002+08:00

I watched the movie The Watchmen couple of weeks back and I remembered a character named The Comedian, who died while saying LIFE IS A JOKE. I think that is quite similar to how I am feeling right now? Haha. Well, doesn't matter. 3 more months. Hm, smile, people for life is a joke!

5 years..

2009-04-01T07:55:00.003+08:00

When we finished secondary school,we started talking about what foundation we gonna do. ADP, Form 6 or A levels. For some who had a clearer picture, they went for foundation in that certain courses. Now that most of us had finished our foundation, some had even began uni life, I guess it's time to talk about career options. It's always a tradition for friends to meet whenever there's a holiday like Chinese New Year, to catch up a little as we hardly see one another anymore. If you guys remembered, I talked about a gang called 22 Friends on my blog before. Those are the people I spent my secondary school life with. Now, I can picture the gang 5 years down the road, with all of us working in our respective fields. If I am not mistaken and everything goes well, things should look like this is 2014..

2 doctors
3 biotechnologists
1 performing artist
2 accountants, maybe 3
2 engineers, maybe 3
1 economist
1 dietician
1 teacher
2 IT guy
1 artist
2 or 3 businessman, or marketting manager or anything involved with BUSINESS
1 surveyor

If I am mistaken, feel free to correct me=)

WIDE 101

2009-03-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

Hi people! I have just finished the WIDE 101 training under Pastor Kelly on both Friday and Saturday. It was indeed a fruitful course as I learnt a lot more about basic Christianity chores, and the real meaning behind doing it. I also realised how choosy I am when it comes to interacting and knowing people. I supposed all this helps to further prepare me for my university life which will starts in July. Argh! I am so leaving home this time round.

Well, on the lighter side of things, I got to know some new buddies, namely the Hebronites who called themselves Ezra,Ezri and David. Well, it was quite a nice 2 days training with all the mamak-ing and lunch hour together. The on field training gave me a knock on my head though. I realised how choosy and cowardice I am when it comes to reaching out to people and knowing strangers. I am known as the talkative guy everywhere I go so I guess I will really need to live up to my name?Haha. Overall, I really am thankful to Pastor Kelly for this training and I am looking forward to 201!

A mixed of things..

2009-03-26T20:49:00.003+08:00

Is it as we grow older, we will be held down by more than just responsibilities? Our future, our own lives. The fearful journey of growing up, where your own life seem to be above all else. What really is important? What really is the fundamental? The cruelty of time seems more obvious with each second passing by. It seems so hard to live your lives ideally, or at least different from how you picture it. So many things I have planned yet all just evaporates like gases into the air. Regrets, a feeling when you couldn't get things done in time. Agree? We all live to have more than one regret yet how do we stop ourselves from falling down again and again? Getting cut for more than once is certainly not wise, after all once bitten, twice shy. Yet, we heed not the advice but rather choose to crashland, adding miseries to ourselves and others on the way. Like fire burning scars into their lifes. Weird, everyone is walking at their own pace. Is anyone even stopping to take a look at the surrounding? Or am I too biased? The fragility of life is getting more and more evident with your age going up. What exactly is human thirsty for? Or rather, the soul? Ponderings after ponderings. I somehow miss...

..School
..Sleeping in class
..writing notes
..talking to friends
..exams
..YOU

TZH out emo-ing..

Return of The Fallen..

2009-03-18T19:03:00.001+08:00

I've decided not to give up my space for thoughts after all. I know, I memang "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" since young in everything, so I couldn't bid goodbye to my blog for more than a week. Right now, I don't have anything in particular to post yet but I certainly will continue to express what I think and feel here in this blog. Like it or not, you're stuck to reading them. Unless you choose not to visit this site, which I guess many of you would? PROVE ME WRONG! Haha!

Miracle of The Moment

2009-03-12T18:45:00.002+08:00

The writer of this blog sincerely thanks each and everyone of you for your words of encouragement and just making him known he's not walking alone. Yes, he did not do very well. Yes, he felt angry at himself. And yes, he felt he prioritise wrongly, procrastinated and did not put his heart anywhere near the word STUDY.

Then again, he could looked at it this way. He only started preparing a month before exam. He only did like 2 or 3 hours of study everyday, that was also with a lot of breaks in between. He knew he did not put his heart into studying yet he did nothing much to fix it. Still, he nailed a 3.00 compared to many others. No doubt, it's not the best of result in his life but this was really something special. This taught him a good lesson in life, preparing him to face the coming days of university and life. He's still searching for his purpose so he can fully maximise every single breath in life.

He remembered a friend once asked IF YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE, WILL YOU TURN TIME AROUND TO CHANGE SOMETHING? The writer would love to but of course, yesterday is history and tomorrow is always a mystery. Today is a gift and that's the miracle of the moment. If the writer had not gone through all this, he would still indulged in a "selamba" attitude in everything. For now, he's learning to enjoy the miracle of the moment. This is what he supposed make life so special. The days that passed by will serve as both memory and lesson and continously guiding him in the near future. After all, he can only work on today and change tomorrow, no? It's time to let go...

The writer is thankful for he knew he deserved none of all this and here he had just discovered a song called

Miracle of The Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJfDIlPtv74

He hopes this song helps all those who are discouraged and those who are confused with their options. Enjoy! A smile always make a gloomy day better, no? =)

Right Now..

2009-03-10T19:00:00.003+08:00

I feel relieved. Results were released earlier today. I did okay I guess. It would be a lie if I say there wasn't the slightest disappointment this morning. I was not only broken, I was totally crushed by what I got. Many people have said I got more than I deserved, considering how much effort I put in. I don't intend to blame anyone for my results and indeed I do feel envy of many of my classmates who did so well. I am just a mere human and therefore I can't help but to feel I should have done better. However, I realised one thing. It is at such time that I truly understand the meaning of grace. Looking at my situation, I do not deserve many things that happened to me, the so-called success for the past 18 years all the way to this morning's 4Bs. I couldn't possibly accomplished all these without Him and I am learning to give thanks in the worst of situation. Nobody ever promised that a Christian life would be one without obstacles and the older you grow, both spiritually and physically, the harder things get. I totally do not deserve His love for me, yet He chose to love me. Surely there is no better way to learn of grace than this..

A Choice..

2009-03-06T00:25:00.002+08:00

The date is set. The verdict will be given on the 10th of March, 2009. After a long trial of 4 months, the case will be laid to rest. People involved from all over Malaysia will be there to witness the final result. Some will shed tears of joy, while others, disappointed, broken and shattered. Not forgetting those who will be shocked of the result, those who jump beacuse of excitement and of course those who, as always remain calm. Whatever it is, no denying 10th of March will be a day of mixed emotions.

Haha! Sounded very serious, right? It's actually the date for the release of STPM 2008 results. Of course, as always I am very nervous and excited at the same time. One thing is for sure, I got nothing much to lost this time round. No doubt, Mr Pride has been hurt badly and has since been laid to rest in peace. I wonder if I zombified him and not killed him cause he comes back now and then to haunt me. Aiks. Still, it has not been an easy journey to taking the STPM examinations. People always say it's super hard and yes, I agree with that but that doesnt gives you an excuse not to do it! Nothing is easy after all, right? As the saying goes, no pain no gain. I certainly hope I will gain something out of my results, a placement in university. Hehe.

I believe most people are quite nervous right now. Some because they felt they did not prepare, others fearing lady luck will stop smiling on them. Breathe and take it slow. After all, the question remains, what can you do? Not as if the government would change your B for an A just because you are scared. ( I know, some must been saying I very not thoughful. Don't stone me! )
Well, it's always about a choice. Just as you all have chosen to do form 6 and not college. So you all now have a choice to believe or not believe. To accept or to despair?

Jeremiah 29 : 11 " For I know the plans I have for you "
Romans 8 : 28 " And we know in all that things, God works for the good of those who love him"
Psalm 23 : 5 " Your rod and your staff, they comfort me "

All these verses have been sort of keeping me relaxed for now. The butterflies are not giving up on multiplying in my stomach though. Yes, we have tried on our own strength and have failed numerous times. In addition, we have also not that much confidence, with people saying a lot around us. However, why not try to let YOUR BOSS UP THERE does the job since you have done your part?

I choose to have faith and accept whatever comes by. You with me?

YMI 2

2009-03-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

Here I am, sitting in front of my desktop after a one week journey through Perak and Kedah. For those who did not know, I was in Tapah for a short mission stint before going to Alor Setar to join a prayer gathering. The team this time consisted of 10 people instead of pairs as in the case of the previous mission. It was really hard labour, no doubt. But despite the work and fatigue, all of us really enjoyed ourselves. I learnt a lot on agriculture and simple construction. Trust me, you need to try mixing cement and mengcangkul for yourself to feel the OHM. Haha.

Well, I think throughout this trip, God has been teaching me the same thing He taught since my STPM finished. I need to choose to believe in Him and worry less about what will happen, especially since STPM results will be out in less than 2 weeks. The agony, joy and disappointment will all be revealed very soon. Butterflies are definitely multiplying inside my stomach. I am scared and worried but I will choose to have faith, whatever will be will be. Hehe.

It was quite fun to explore Malaysia as I enjoyed travelling. I thank God for this opportunity to visit places like Alor Setar and Tapah. I believe there's more to come. Oh yea, not forgetting the people we met, whom really gave us a warm welcome and home feeling. Thank you to Uncle Young Soon and family in Tapah. Not forgetting of course, Auntie Siew Har and family in Kedah.
Thanks alot to Elisabeth too for inviting us to Kedah. Really nice knowing you people=)

I will post up pictures from the trip as soon as possible. So, stay tune.

Are you challenged now to go for mission? Haha..

Needing Your Help!

2009-02-10T21:49:00.002+08:00

The post below is taken from an email sent to me by a friend. This is no joke and I sincerely hope that every reader of this blog will offer his/her help one way or another. Thanks.

Dear Friends!
The girl you see is the two-year-old daughter of the physiotherapist Mr. Moe. He is working in the center for people with handicap, where Benedikt and I are volunteering.
The girl’s name is Pandora.
Mr. Moe is from Myanmar and works in Malaysia because here, he is able to earn a bit more money for his work.
Reason for that is that his daughter has Thalassaemia, what is a sickness of the blood. It means that less hemoglobin is produced and / or too much is being degraded.

For saving her life, a bone marrow transplant is absolutely necessary.
A surgery like that costs about 300.000 RM to 400.000 RM. This is a very high amount that no ordinary working man is able to pay. Mr. Moe will have to sell all his properties in Myanmar and even that will only be a small part of the financial effort.

Because of that, Benedikt and I have written to different organizations like
”MC Donald’s”, ”TDH”, “ ”Ein Herz Fuer Kinder”, “Myanmar Kinderhilfe DE” and many other. The only good response came from the German newspaper “BILD”, that is willing to give financial help as soon as one third of the whole cost for the surgery is arranged.

For donations in financial form, Benedikt and I have opened an account here in Malaysia. The account will be given to Mr. Moe as our voluntary work ends on august 17th 2009.

We are also looking forwards to information about organizations that we maybe have forgotten.

Name: Benedikt Bau & Alexander Maass
Accountnumber: 0918 – 0007239 – 525
SWIFT CODE: CIBBMYKL
Bank: CIMB Bank / Simpang Empat / Hutan Melintang / Malaysia

p/s: Sorry for not being able to post up a picture of the little girl said. For more information, please feel free to inquire me. Thanks!

Leaving Singlehood?

2009-02-09T17:44:00.002+08:00

Love is in the air. Do you smell the chocolate and flower scent? Or rather, do you hear your wallet screaming in pain as more cash is being poured out? This Saturday is Valentine's Day. In other words, it's the time of the year again where couples around the world celebrate this special day of love. Hm, ever wondered the origin of Valentine's Day? Well, let me give you a brief introduction into this special occasion. =)

" Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. An alternative theory from Belarus states that the holiday originates from the story of Saint Valentine, who upon rejection by his mistress was so heartbroken that he took a knife to his chest and sent her his still-beating heart as a token of his undying love for her. Hence, heart-shaped cards are now sent as a tribute to his overwhelming passion and suffering."

There is actually more than 1 type of Valentine's Day available and I believe many, if not most of us would love and enjoy celebrating this year, or at least us whose hormones are still very much raging. Then, again, is all this really true love? Hm, how do we even define what true love is? There's a verse in the bible that writes "there's no greater love than one who's willing to lay down his life for another ". And somebody did exactly just this. Who's the guy? He's none other than Christ Jesus. 2009 years ago, he was sent to earth by our Father in heaven to die on the cross for our sins and to suffer for our wrongdoings. What other love can be compared to someone who's willing to die, for our sake and faults. I will leave that for you to think. I know for one, I wouldnt be able to do such task, or at least would choose to be like Peter, cheat my way out of troubles.

It's of course not wrong to get yourself a girlfriend but unless you are serious and ready to commit then it's really pointless to do so. Talk is cheap. I aint trying to judge anybody here but all the talks of undying love and certain people being your reason of living is really hypocritical unless you really mean it! I remembered Jit once said that the heart is just like a ping pong ball. When it's crushed, just putting it in hot water and it will return to its original shape. No doubt if we have been hurt in relationship, we could move on but the scar will always remain there. Like it or not, things will never be the same again.

I read of an interesting analogy before where before a guy got married, all his ex-girlfriends came up at him and he felt ashamed in front of his future wife because he had given a part of his heart away and it was not whole for her. How sad but this is the reality of today. If we start a relationship just as a try out or driven by emotions, we will be like going on the road with a gas tank half-filled. It will start out smoothly but it will die down halfway through. The results, hurt for both parties. Ouch! I am pretty sure some, if not most of you have such experience, or experiences ( which I hope not ) before.

So, being in love is more than just telling I Love You. It's to actually mean it. Being in love is more than just celebrating Valentine's Day together once a year but to make everyday as significant as Valentine's Day. Being in love is not finding the perfect guy/girl, it's to see perfection in the other party. Being in love means more than just being around each other everyday but to feel and know of one another's presence despite the fact you both are as far as two different ends of the world. Being in love means commiting your life to one another.

L.O.V.E means Loving One another V Everything? Haha. I came up with that. Lame, I know.

As for the title, I aint leaving singlehood..just yet. I don't know when my time will come but well, who's rushing? I know I always say about getting a girlfriend but before I learn to love God, my parents and people around me whole heartedly, I am not qualified to say I really love someone or to deserve the other person's love. Well, I take this opportunity to wish every couples HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY and for those who are still single, let's enjoy every moment of it.

p/s: This post is not meant to condemn or judge anybody. Just a piece of the writer's mind. Any

events mentioned is purely coincidental.

Happy Chinese New Year & Happy Birthday!

2009-02-01T19:31:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese NIU Year to all of you. Today is also Human Day, the 7th day of Chinese New Year, which to the Chinese means everybody's birthday so there you go, Happy Birthday! I have been having some sort of writer's block earlier without anything in my mind to blog but well, not many people do read this blog anyway, right? Well, Chinese New Year this time round has been rather slow. To begin with, most of my relatives did not come back this year and we are not visiting them too. Then, both my sisters have only a two days break from work and university respectively. It was a quite time at home throughout this one week, with some visitations to brighten up the dull moment. Surprisingly ang paos this year were not very much affected by the economy crisis. Now who says everything is undergoing recession? Haha.

I am currently on a job hunt. Have to find something to do, learn and fill up my time I guess. Don't want to be regarded as an idler who is living off his parents. Haha. So, anybody who has any job offer, feel free to tell me. As long as I get paid, I am happy =)

I just got my memory card back so I will post some pictures of my mission trip and probably update a little about it soon. For now, I am tired both physically and emotionally. It's rather true when you walk closer with God, the devil certainly disturb you and people around you. Argh! Learning to walk closer with Him. I certainly need to sort out couple of things in my life and make it correct again.. hm..

Back!

2009-01-21T13:29:00.002+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I am back. I was part of the YMI 2009 team and was sent to Teluk Intan, Perak to work with special children. With very little details told, it was scary because the team did not know what to expect. Somehow, things went on smoothly and we had fun in Teluk Intan. I am kind of lazy to go into details so I probably will post about my personal report in the next post. Haha. Well, one thing I really learnt is to be faithful in the little things. Be still and know that God is God. What lies ahead of us, He will worry about it. We just need to take one step at a time. NS, STPM results, Uni..Here I am...

Writer on Leave

2009-01-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

Beginning tomorrow, I will be undergoing training for Youth Mission Initiative, which requires us to serve in a certain mission field for 10 days. I will be leaving town on Friday if everything goes according to plan and will be back only by the 19th. The schedule seems a bit packed so I probably will choose to sleep more rather than on9 for the next 3 weeks. A good fasting time! Haha. Well, I believe this is a time for me to personally seek the Lord and to learn to submit to Him totally and to live my life for Him and Him alone so yeah, TZH out!

Stay tune for stories when I return!

What A Beginning..

2009-01-01T01:55:00.002+08:00

Hello 09! It's a new year, a new start, a new beginning. Time to put all the disappointments and regrets of 08 behind and look forward to 09. And I had a fantastic beginning to the year. I was nearly bitten by a dog and couldn't make it past the 1st day of the new year! The experience certainly is scary! Haha! For details, ask me or Yong Ling personally. Enjoy your new year people!

Hajimemashite 2009!

2008-12-31T21:17:00.002+08:00

The last day of the year, with less than 3 hours before fireworks start bursting into air and people start shouting HAPPY NEW YEAR. In certain countries, the countdown will happen in a matter of minutes. Wow! 2008 is really ending! What's your plan to end the year? What's youre new year resolution? I know the 1st thing I need to do tomorrow on New Year's day is to get a hair cut! Haha. Till then, Happy 2009 people!

08 to 09

2008-12-30T21:06:00.002+08:00

The transition from year 2008 to 2009 will take place in less than 30 hours. The year has come to an end. I am a guy who likes to know the reason to doing something and especially chooses to do mostly things that brings benefit to me. So, I constantly ask myself what and how much have I gotten out of this one and a half years in Kluang. I chose to stay back, when the whole world thought I am leaving for college. Well you see, I am the youngest child in the family and you can call me a pampered kid so it makes not much sense that someone who has the privilege of getting things easily would choose to stay back for form 6 BUT I did. Don't even bother asking me the reason, I don't have an answer for that.

I can only say it's probably God's purpose for me to stay back for another one and a half years. Like what Daniel posted, he was broken and he gave thanks for it. So do I, I failed rather miserably throughout this period of time and entering the deepest pits of emotion. A friend once said perhaps my failure in exam does not necessarily means I am a dumbo. And Pastor Victor had clearly stressed more on that during ESP that Failure Is Not Final. I have learnt a lot about humbling myself and to just give thanks in every situation. Despite the fact, I am kind of a loser out there. Not into gaming, or anything else that bonds people together, I supposed God will still use me for He's strong when I am weak. He is IN CHARGE, not me. So all I can do is wait and continue to seek Him. Aih~

Who in the world said 08 will be a good year? Those fortune-tellers better make more accurate decision for 09..:P

Blessed Christmas!

2008-12-26T15:46:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas to all of you! I know it's abit too late but still, better late than never, right?
Well, how did you all celebrate Christmas this year? For me, it was rather different as I had a busy Christmas day. What I did was for me to know and for you to find out. Haha.

Well, Kluang Mall finally opens for business and is drawing large crowds in up till today. It looks quite good for a small town like Kluang. Many peers are working in there now, making me feel a little inferior as I aint working myself. It's like half the school is there. Haha. Hm, 5 more days to the end of 2008. What's your new year resolution? What's your next step?

Pondering..Waiting..Deciding..

It Ends Where It All Started..

2008-12-20T00:50:00.002+08:00

I'm back from a graduation trip with my fellow schoolmates. I went to Penang, Cameron Highlands and lastly Kuala Lumpur. Penang and Cameron Highlands was an eye opener as I had never been there before while KL is just, like every other holidays, SHOPPING and more SHOPPING. Penang really deserve the World Heritage Status as most of its building have been well maintained and its style is just so unique, however there are some eye sores here and there. Did not have enough time in Penang so probably will drop by again if I have the time. Went to 3 temples and Gurney Plaza and Queensbay Mall. The food there is nice by the way!

Cameron Highlands is like a journey back to nature. Everything is fresh and slow there. The weather is nice though. Saw roses, cactii, strawberries and bees and tea leaves. A very nice experience with a horror ride. The road up and down causes most gals to feel nausea. KL was all about shopping. Spending time with these bunch of friends whom I have known, mostly for about 1.5 years only is really a great pleasure. Somehow, I felt abit emotional to leave everybody. Yea, I know, I have been an eye sore or pain in the neck but I must admit I do appreciate you guys! ALOT!

It all ended where it started.That was my thought when we stopped by Yong Peng earlier today. The trip kickstarted with a halt in Yong Peng and all the way up and finally ended with another short break at Yong Peng too. Somehow, I felt my life is the same. I entered STK at the start of my teens year and exited it as a..say..young adult?Somehow I felt God is always trying to tell me something through this 1.5 years in Kluang. I could have just left but I did not yet I could not really make up what have I gotten through this time.

Yes, I am feeling abit emotional as I am leaving for national service and probably will hardly see them again till results time. I am still worried bout my results. Haha! Well, people, thanks for making my 1.5 years so colourful.

Thank you, you and you and you and you all!

ESP 7

2008-12-14T18:39:00.004+08:00

ESP 7 had just ended. Another event off the calendar. Aw, I can hear 2009 approaching. Well, let's not get to there for today. Haha. ESP is a camp organised by the English Speaking Presbyterian hence the abbreviation ESP. It's an annual event and this year it was held in Majodi Centre in Johor. It was a rather nice place, just that it lacks recreational areas. :x The camp this year round is rather special, to me at least.

Going into ESP, i was not excited, contrary to what many people around me felt. I had no idea about what I want out of this camp and I just went cause I have friends going for it, so I had to tag along. The past one year hasnt been fully a good one, nor was it a bad one thus leading to a tired and emotional TZH. The 1st night itself Uncle Ven asked us to write down things we expect to see or receive from the Lord in this camp. The very 1st reaction I had was I GOT NOTHING I WANT. After some time, I did squeeze out somethings and eventually looked forward to the messages from Pastor Victor. The camp this year was rather special as there was not so much altar call nor were the messages too much to handle for non christian friends we have invited. I felt comfortable throughout the camp.

It's like day in, day out I had let studies, people, and even sometimes serving takes over God's place. I tried to forget about things I want to by working hard to serve God and forgot the real purpose of serving, or rather the real purpose of being a Christian, to seek God and put God 1st above all else. This was what I was reminded of from the camp and I felt like I am back to where I started, a baby Christian who desire to seek the Lord 1st. I am just like being reverted from I think I know a lot to the current stage of I know nothing, it's good though. Many areas that I am struggling with, many things to be done and I am just gonna make sure I am ready for what may come..

Back to basic, people!

Dilemma..

2008-12-06T01:05:00.002+08:00

Today is officially 1st day of my holidays. Waking up to find out that school uniform, school rules and the same old boring assembly are all history now seems a bit weird. I still can't believe I had finished my high school life. It's only a short journey of one and a half years yet it seems like so much had taken place within this short period of time, way more than I can remembered from my 5 years of secondary school life. Somehow, it's rather weird to be hitting the road again with no destination set. Worrying about my results and my future looks to be the best and right thing to do now, besides enjoying myself of course. Haha! Well, will this time go into the waste? In terms of results, only next year will I know. In terms of maturity I supposed I moved on quite a bit compared to my former self. People you meet, things that happened, changes that took place. All these just add up to make a bitter sweet memory, like it or not it's stuck in my head for awhile. Hm, a long holidays packed with activities is coming up. Oh Lord, help me to have more faith!

It's Done

2008-12-04T17:06:00.002+08:00

It has officially ended. STPM 2008 is over! I had finished it and been "finished" by it. Contrary to the excitement and joyful feeling I used to have, I am feeling rather relief, hoping for the best to come out of it next March. Books are up for grab, FOC so do tell me if you're interested!

Right now, I am just gonna enjoy tis short break and every moment of it. A lot of activities coming up. So, till then!

Form 6

2008-11-12T01:20:00.002+08:00

High School Life ended with the Annual Dinner last night. The event everybody anticipated since the beginning of the year had drawn up its curtain. Everyone looked so different last night, at the least the girls did. From the usual studious look to last night's feminisme, some of the girls did make jaws dropped. A short and simple dinner is how I would describe last night's dinner. No offence to the juniors. You people did a fantastic job for the dinner so kudos. Simple is just a word I like to use, I like simplicity so it doesnt make the dinner any less successful.

Looking back at this one and a half year's journey, a lot certainly had taken place. Maybe I was too young to remember every detail of my secondary school life or mayb the short span makes me remember things alot more better but undeniably Form 6 life did occupy a large part of my memory, be it good of bad. I've started a raging battle on Me, Myself And I. Sounds funny I know but the inner self of mine had been, and still is one of my biggest enemy to date. From scoring 10 As to mere passes in form 6, my pride had been hurt badly. Seeing half the class being chosen as pelajar harapan and for the first time in my life, I was not expected to be the elite. I take full responsibility of all these, because I had allowed myself to fail. But well, like what every teacher said, push hard for the final goal. I have less than a week left. A lot more grounds to cover. Just keeping my fingers crossed. Haha. I am just glad I was never alone, am not alone and never will be alone. Putting aside all the differences and own emotions, I certainly see things alot better. An indication of what's to come and what's to be left behind. I have a lot of thoughts as usual but I am leaving them where they are due. Right, it's time to quit pc, till I return in 3 weeks time. Bye Bye every1! Bye Bye Form 6...

Graduation!

2008-11-07T15:34:00.004+08:00

Today was graduation day. The end of my form 6 student life. With one more obstacles to cross and a new stage in life after that. Come to think of it, form 6 was never in my agenda of life yet I ended up doing it. Nonetheless, I did enjoy my one and a half years stay with its bitter sweet moment. Today was also pictures day, so I will show you some I took in school. For more, go to my friendster. Malas want to update here! Haha!

Ivan, kawan 7 tahun and I
Shi Hao and I

Jolene and I

Due to popular demand..

Buddies

Miss Lileen, my Physics teacher Miss Foo, my Chemistry teacher

Mr Quek, my Maths 1 teacher

The girls of PU2F1 with teachers

Majlis Restu

Graduation = Goodbye?

2008-10-26T23:24:00.004+08:00

I just catched this long-awaited movie with couple of friends on Friday. No offence here but this movie is nicer than the 2nd and more real than the 1st. The songs are mostly slow this song, which I really enjoyed. The title is SENIOR YEAR, which means the final year in High School. The next stop in life is college. In the movie, it talked about attending colleges and being away from friends you really love and treasure, each person going after their own dreams. My own graduation is coming. I am leaving STK for the 2nd time in my life and this time, it's for good. I will not come back into STK as it's students. Happy? Sad? I don't really know. Mixed feelings about graduating. All the more after watching this movie. I wonder where I will be heading next, or rather what do I want in the future? The thought of only being a student for another 4 to 5 years before the working society welcomes you is rather scary.

Come to think of it, a student's life is really the sweetest. No wonder seniors always encourage us to have fun in school. Regrets, disappointments, joys and most importantly FRIENDSHIP are what we will be taking away from high school I supposed. I know the journey wont just end here but rather it's moving to a whole new level from here. So, happy graduating all my friends! Let's all enjoy our prom and our last days of school!

Find Yourself

2008-10-19T02:02:00.003+08:00

The exam stress is getting to everybody. End of the year marks the beginning of examinations, one after the other. The excitement of sitting for it alongside fear of not doing well. Throughout our lifes of chasing after things, I supposed there'll be times when we lost ourselves. Times when we are like WHAT"S NEXT? The struggle to rediscover ourselves and what exactly life is all about is a hard journey in life. Here I am sharing a song which I hope will help you people out there and myself to find the important thing in life, ourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxXY2-44bCs&feature=related

Find Yourself by Brad Paisley

When you find yourself in some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself...

When you make new friends in a brand new town
And you start to think about settling down
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
Yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life
So sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, it's really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah that's when you find yourself.

When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for
And she's everything, that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
Yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life
So sure of where we're headed
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, it's really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah that's when you find yourself.

A Moment To Remember

2008-10-17T22:49:00.002+08:00

Today is 17th October 2008. A normal Friday like every other, the thing that differentiate it is that a memorial service was held in remembrance of Reverend Chong at Herald. A year ago, he was summoned back home by the Lord and left many people with huge grievances. Today was a moment to remember him and his works here. 360 days had passed since the accident. Cruelty and reality of time is clearly shown here. The guy who never stops working, TIME is just moving so fast that we all barely grasped whatever is happening around us.

There are just so many unfulfilled wishes, dreams and tasks. What's left after a year is regrets and disappointments. Things went well, things went wrong. The parts and parcels of life just keep occuring, even when we felt like turning the clock back or to an extend, stopping it. Human always desire for better things. The search for happiness is never ending. The goals just keep on adding on till perhaps even infinity. Worries, fear and at the same time excitement. All these emotions just keep mixing and playing around one another as each day passes by. Hm, exactly a month left to STPM, how are each and everyone of you feeling?

I felt like I could have done better, could have done more. But I guess people grow up through failing and what matters most is moving forward, not letting anything stop you. A chapter of life is about to come to an end while new ones are opening up. Even in the middle of all these hectic and uncertainties, let us not forget to take a moment to remember and be grateful. Gratitude makes tough times better, no?

Diverging or Converging?

2008-10-12T16:48:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a hectic day. Beginning with a free breakfast session courtesy of a teacher and then shopping for clothes at The Store before making our way to T6 for an open house. Luqman, I know you might not be reading this but still, the food was great and thanks for the hospitality!
Boy, it poured like it hadn't rain in a week yesterday. Visibility on the road is close to 0! I hate heavy rain! Haha!

Well, I was having a talk with Merv and Jie Eunice after breakfast this morning about relationship, in particular married life. She said something that's like really the key to maintaining a relationship, commitment. In a relationship, there tends to be rough and bad journey but it just takes understanding and tolerance to come out of such storm. She went on to add that people changes over the time and it's a never-ending process, which is very true. Whether or not a relationship works out depends on both the parties, not just one side tolerating the other. Instead, it's about changing together and marching forward together despite the differences and arguments. Hm, so I supposed relationship can be linked to Maths 1. It's either a converging relationship, where both parties will meet at a point in changing or a divergent one, where both parties go their own separate ways, for better or worse. I think this actually applies in every relationship, not just the boy-girl one. Agree? If we don't see eye to eye with one another, I suppose all we gonna get is constant misunderstanding. Aih~ Aih~

I need to start applying what Uncle Mark preached today. Fill my mind NOT with dramas but with things about the Lord so I can rejoice in every situation. Aw..people, REJOICE!:P

You're the One..

2008-10-09T23:24:00.002+08:00

Since the beginning of this week, I've been feeling like a rubbish. In fact, it wasn't the first time I'm on a ride on this emotional roller-coaster which more or less constantly torment me inside out. Haha. I am still very much alive though. It has been a ME,MYSELF and I problem since the beginning of my form 6 life. The more I want to avoid making mistake, the higher tendency I hurt people around me. I've pictured out how I want my form 6 life to be, yet everything just seems to backfire. Nonetheless, I am learning a lot through all the dramas in life. I am not at any point blaming or trying to stab anyone through this post.

I have been on a war with my inner self, just sliding down in my walk with Christ. It's like the Murphy's law then beginning to take place. Everything that can go wrong is going wrong. There has been fun times and joyous ones throughout the year but I've allowed my emotional side and the so-called sad things to overshadow every single good that the Lord has brought unto me. I blamed this, I blamed that but never myself. I am not please with anything because I am extremely not please with myself.

Howerver, the Lord is good and faithful. On the edge of breaking down, there He is with the reinforcement to get me out of troubles. I thank God for people He brought into my life, things that He allowed me to see. Throughout this time, I really want to thank someone, Gideon Koh Hee Liang. Though I find joy in bullying you sometimes but it's an undeniable fact that you are actually one making me continue to believe, continue to have faith. Thanks dude, I owe you big time. I've been working outside my limits as I've said before and now I'm just going to use this final 80 days with friends to try and get the best out of it. Working within limits, I shall not corss the boundary anymore.

A new found inspiration in my life, Joseph Merrick a.k.a the Elephant Man. The faith he has is just so amazing and he really did show what it means to be joyous in times of difficulties. The story is way too long to be elaborated here. Read about him on Wikipedia.org. I believe many will be inspired and challenged. Aw. It feels good to be back. STPM, here I come. My future, here I come!

Just a little something for everyone to bear in mind:

Tis true my form is something odd, But blaming me is blaming God. Could I create myself anew, I would not fail in pleasing you. If I could reach from pole to pole, Or grasp the ocean with a span, I would be measured by the soul, The mind's the standard of the man.

awake or asleep?

2008-10-03T17:12:00.003+08:00

The Raya break is coming to an end. Just a week ago, we were all looking forward to the beginning of a one week break. In a glimpse of an eye, Deepavali is coming and after that, STPM. Reality check, it's very VERY VERY near! I am not prepared, I admit! Haha.

Hm, for once I don't know what to write. I have a lot on my mind yet I cant convert them into words. Perhaps those thoughts are better off left where they are and move on. Live and let live! I am like waking up again after sleeping for a very long time.LIterally, I do fall asleep quite often! Haha! Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Deepavali! STPM, I am coming!

Right?

2008-09-27T23:23:00.003+08:00

I've just watched a movie entitled Freedom Writers this afternoon. It's about how a teacher inspired and changed her students' life by using unorthodox teaching methods, which worked yet was not recognized by many who goes law by law. This is based on the true story of Erin Gruwell, a teacher in US and her students. So, it's really inspiring.

One of the thing in this movie is learning to put our differences aside and not let anything that people say get to us. Many a times, success depend on one person's mind. If we ever allowed people to dictate our life, we will never be able to make a breakthrough. Instead, we should strive to change, there's no one thing in this world that can stopped you from your dream as long as you try hard enough.

The story talks about white and black's discrimination, holocaust and things that are closed to teenagers facing problem in an area in US. We as teenagers of Malaysia faces our own problems too, only mayb it isnt as radical as the ones in US. Miep Gies, the person who hide Anne Frank during the holocaust said this I DIDN"T HIDE ANNE TO BE A HERO, I ONLY DID THAT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. That sentence really made an impact. It struck me right there that many times we do things to please others, to get into their good books or simply because our friends require us to do it. But what we have failed to realise is this, the reason behind our actions. I've been trying to more or less be someone I aint and I get very tired and hurt at the end of the day. I guess perhaps it wasnt the right thing to do after all. In life, we need not please everyone but we need to be straight with God. I have been doing things beyond my range of work, it's time to focus on things that are important to me. I am gonna do things because it's the right thing to do. :p

So, yea do watch the movie. The actress is quite pretty also. Hehe..

What's next?

2008-09-27T13:18:00.002+08:00

I'm on holidays,again! The Raya holidays is here! Can you smell the ketupat? Haha! I still remembered the last Raya holidays I had, it was to prepare for the lower 6 final examination. This time around, no more final exam after Raya but it's the horrifying STPM! Done with trials and did "ok", I guess. The high school years are finally coming to an end, 1 and a half year of form 6 is finishing. The question remains, did I enjoy my stay?

A conversation I had with Cheng Yee some time ago had him saying GO TO SCHOOL AND ENJOY YOURSELF. He said he was playing a fool most of the time in school with his friends, enjoying the period of time in STK. I believed many of us have done that. As for me, let's not go there. :X Hm, perhaps I am like what many people said I am, attention seeking. I enjoy being around many people and wish to be part of everything, most of which doesnt seem to work out. Reality check, mayb I am just asking for too much. Opss..

Well, another 2 months to STPM and 3 to freedom, hm..What's next?

The Short Return..

2008-09-17T15:51:00.002+08:00

Ah,finally found some time to blog. I've been rather busy wasting my time, besides studying for my trials for the last 2 weeks. Trials just ended, with mixed emotions. I hope I did just well enough for better results compared to the previous ones. :X

Well, Jie Eunice and Jaeson's wedding took place on the 6th, with many of us involved. It was a really great event and very touching to see them both tying the knot. For pictures, please visit
http://www.jaesonandeunice.org The dinner was held at Peking Sutera in JB and boy, that restaurant is so huge and classy! It's located in the newly developed township of Sutera Utama and sat right next to Sutera Mall, a new shopping mall and one that's meant for girls, as usual :P.
Went there courtesy of Yosh as I hitched a ride on his beloved Wira when I was supposedly to be taking the bus. We reached Pekin in 45 minutes time and took about the same time to reach home. Hehe. New record :P

Just heard the news that a warrior for God, Pastor Sunther passed away. It was rather sudden. He was just telling us that he will be going to Korea for some convention this year and the next thing we know, the Lord had summoned him back home. Life certainly is fragile, hey? I still remembered the conversation between Yosh and Pastor Clement from KT about death. Pastor Clement said that we will leave this world once we have fought the battle we need to as in the case of Paul ( or izzit Peter?) Dont stone me! I studied too hard for trials dy! Haha.
Well, when do we know if our job here is done? Or how do I even know if my job is being done?
Life is certainly full of mysteries. Aih~ I don't really like sad moments.

Speaking of which, yours truly is sick, quite sick. So, ciao! "MC" tomorrow from school! Those who know me well will get what I mean. Haha

Check Up..

2008-09-04T21:19:00.003+08:00

Today is 4th September 2008, my birthday is over with no official celebration or what so ever. I did, however received many sincere wishes from many parties. So, to those who showed me their love and care, thank you! It's a quiet affair as I've expected. No surprise party, no grand celebration, no extreme splurging but just a little time to reflect on the fact I am 18. I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe the guy I am seeing is 18.

So I've decided to go through some things in life since I've turned 18.

Head..CHECK
Health..CHECK
Heart..^@#$^~%~#$

I wished I could have typed CHECK but I think I need to reconsider the condition of my heart, once more. Plainly saying my heart is in the correct condition just simply doesnt make any sense. Yea, the same old problem. Immaturity of TZH. More often that not, I think I tend to act solely based on my emotions, and not rational. It's like I've grown up quicker than I'm supposed to. Yosh said that I am somehow still immature in certain areas of my life and I agreed with him hands down. The attitude is still one heck of a big prob. Aih~

I got to reset my heart to the correct condition, my eyes upon His statutes.

Guide me O Lord for I'm lost and weak..

17 to 18...

2008-09-03T16:35:00.003+08:00

Time for some self-indulged, super perasan post! It's that time of the year again! Today is September 3rd, 2008. This marks the coming of age for yours truly, who turn 18 today! Yeah, let me hear it! Where's all the wishes?! Haha. Kidding bout those wishes. Well, in a glimpse of an eye, I am 18. Transiting from a teenager into a stage I would like to call Young Adult is certainly something I have been looking forward to. Now that it's here, not much of a feeling pulak. Aiks, I guess this is human nature.

Today is a rather quiet affair, as it had always been. My family wasnt the type that celebrate special occassions grandly or at least those activities stopped after I entered high school. I remembered splurging quite abit on my previous birthdays giving my friends a treat, but I had somehow turned it into a quiet affair by PURPOSELY forgetting to celebrate, using trials as excuse when I was form 5. So, yea. This post is super random with the thought of trying to gain some attention here! Haha.

Alas, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :P

p/s: miss yilian, satisfy?

MERDEKA!!!!

2008-08-31T23:42:00.002+08:00

MERDEKA! That was the roar made 51 years ago, when Malaya ( now Malaysia ) gained its independence from the British. Happy Birthday Malaysia! Well, Malaysia seem to be one country its citizen never really like. More often than not, we hear people wanting to migrate because there's a better future elsewhere. Come to think of it, I used to not like my own country! But somehow, if you just opened your eyes bigger and looked at it carefully, Malaysia is actually a nice place to live in, I guess.

Wonder why certain countries like Korea, Japan and the United States can improve so fast and become economic powerhouses in our times? It's because of one simple word, UNITY. Have you ever noticed how these people sing their national anthem when they won a medal for their country? It's with honour, passion and respect. Think of it, how about us? Sad to say, many Malaysians aren't that way when NEGARAKU is played. Yeah, blamed the government all you want for not instilling patriotisme in us but remember IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP. Look at African countries and also some South American countries. Why are their conditions worse than us? It's because there's constant inner war, between the people themselves. Without Unity, it will get us no where. Let's not get political here so we should always bear in mind, respect the country, the authority and complain less about Malaysia!

Haha. Well, I've just watched SUMOLAH. A local production last year by the comedians of Malaysia and Singapore. NOKOTTA is what I've learnt. Until the end of the day, you wont know the results so all the more you got to push harder. The only opponent in life is you, yourself. Lose faith and sayonara from there. So, people do watch it. The lead actress is pretty!

Lastly, Happy Birthday Malaysia! I am proud to be a Malaysian, are you?

News

2008-08-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

With the Beijing Olympics over, I can't help but to think that time is indeed so fast ahead of us. Who would have thought that 16 days seem like such a period of time? It felt just like yesterday when you were watching 204 nations marched out onto the Bird's Nest and next thing you know, GOODBYE BEIJING, HELLO LONDON. Malaysia did well with its 1st olympic medal after 12 years. The ahtletes did their best regardless of what the results are. After all, they are the nation's best. Want to complain? Wait till you get to don on the national colours, win a medal, then you bising! :P

Argh! School begins 7 hours from now. A short week of hectic holidays is over just like that. I was involved in the Johor Form 6 Carnival and got to know a bunch of fun juniors from all over Johor. I was reluctant to go but still enjoyed it more or less. Then, it was off to KL to visit an old time friend. His condition certainly is getting better. Praise God! I cant wait for the day when we will all play basketball again, mate! Did a little shopping too with Eric and Andy on this trip. Oh well, it was a short but fun trip. Leo installation was next, followed by watching Wall E with the Shelter Kids. It was a cute movie, not exactly the mega box office movie, but like Shrek 3, a movie in a league of its own. Moral learnt, TREASURE EARTH BEFORE IT"S FULL OF THRASH and BRING YOUR DATE TO THE MOVIE! Haha. Well, ELS Farewell Party was next. Thanks alot, new board. The food was good. Too bad I missed your performance. All the best man!

Ah..I havent study a single thing as usual for trials. Back to business as usual in couple of hours. I just missed the good old days. Haha. In the meantime, chill everyone..

Homo sapiens..

2008-08-20T22:03:00.002+08:00

Well, time for some big post again ( sorry la miss yilian, no random post ). Haha! Recently I have been pondering about the phrase "homo sapien". For those who studied bio, you guys probably know what it means. For those who don't, it means human being. It was told that each and everyone of us is special and unique in our own way, created in God's images. Scientifically it has proven that we are all unique individuals as none of us have the same fingerprints. We all have different heights and weight too. Well, the most important aspect of it all, the way we think.

Each and every individual is special in his or her own way of thinking. From choosing who they like to who they hate or what they want and what they don't. No one person in this world could really understand the other, I think. Understand as in thoroughly know you inside out, from what you did to what you gonna do. Even twins could not understand one another that well. So I guess it's rather normal for us to have miscommunication, which lead to misunderstanding, right? More often than not, people always failed to clear things up. Human beings swore for changes yet the next moment you know, they reverted to who they were or what they were doing. Sad, right? Even I myself am guilty of that. I think that's why we need God to guide us and keep us safe from reverting to our old self, one that might not seem so perfect. I aint saying that our life can be perfect but little by little, changes can be made to avoid all the unnecessary hurt, right?

Hm, human have weird minds. Agree? If so, is it good or bad? Aw...STPM in less than 80 days..

Time Of My Life..

2008-08-16T22:51:00.004+08:00

The world is coming to an end on 2012. That's what NASA predicted. You buying that story? Many does though, fear stricken at the thought of dying. However, we all know that the world will come to an end one day, don't we? That's when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ makes his 2nd coming to create a new earth. You buying this story? I think many people would choose to believe in the 1st story and hoped on the MARS exploration to succeed, so we can all move there and stay happily ever after, or so it seems.

Many people choose not to believe in salvation offer by grace and think earning merits will give them a better next life, or even land them in heaven. Well, I don't wish to start a debateable topic here so I shall not go off from here. What I am trying to say is this, HOW YOU THINK DECIDES WHAT YOU SEE. In other words, perception. It's something in us, part of us and of us. Hard to be changed but not impossible. All problems start from how you view things. If you are with a heart of thankfulness then yes, everything will be well. However, life is never a bed of roses. There will tend to be thorns here and there, cutting you now and then. Yea, so you will indulge in all the anger, misunderstanding or even hatred. Good? You decide yourself. It's very important for us to put on the right specstacles. The moment you decided to stamp some1 with something, that's it. Like it or not, it's never easy to change how you think. Therefore God's word is important in providing with the wisdom to discern.

I just have another random thought earlier, the world's influence on us is so much larger compare to God's hey? Perhaps we are so part of this world that we slowly get conformed by it. The scale of good and bad lies in your perceptions. Nothing is 100 % good or 100 % bad in this world. It's only a matter of boundaries, whether or not you are going overboard with whatever you are doing. Jit has always reminded me that if what I am doing is a stumbling stone or at any point, raises question about myself and other people then don't do it. I believe that's important so as to win people over. It's about how we are different from them that matters, not how same we are I guess.

As Yosh has said, prayer is a powerful thing and throughout this week, I must admit it's really true. Let's pray our way out of all these. No more hurt, no more pain. This is the time...

Just a song by David Cook which certainly inspires me alot:

Time of My Life

(verse 1)

I've been waiting for my dreams

To turn into something

I could believe in

And looking for that

Magic rainbow

On the horizon

I couldn't see it

Until I let go

Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn

Now I'm coming alive

Body and soul

And feelin' my world start to turn

(chorus)

And I'll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time

To be more than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

(verse 2)

Holding onto things that vanished

Into the air

Left me in pieces

But now I'm rising from the ashes

Finding my wings

And all that I needed

Was there all along

Within my reach

As close as the beat of my heart

(chorus)

So I'll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

(bridge)

And I'm out on the edge of forever

Ready to run

I'm keeping my feet on the ground

My arms open wide

My face to the sun

(chorus)

I'll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time

,This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know

This is the time

This is the time of my life.

Dilemma..

2008-08-14T21:04:00.002+08:00

92,91,90...It's slowly approaching. The monster called STPM will be here in just another 92 days! I am barely surviving in my results and just finished another test which I did not study for. Gone. My future to be decided in less than 100 days. Ladies and gentlemen, be afraid, BE VERY AFRAID cause I am!

Well, been in a little dilemma lately or should I say since some time ago. Who to trust? What to believe in? What is the truth? It's like I am completely losing my way, that's for sure. 1st time in my life being so lost. I know, studies should come 1st but well, I have a complicated mind. Ugh!

I think I am seeking attention here, you agree?

Annual Dinner 07

2008-08-03T20:48:00.007+08:00

If my memory serves me correctly, I've not had a post about the MPPPU Annual Dinner last year. So I've decided to upload some pictures from that function. Why am I doing this?

1. I dont wish to study, so wasting some time here.

2. Just to commemorate the dinner

The new Board

The hosts

Princess Gang?

Sweet moment

Pu1f1 class of 07

The old Board

Mr MPPPU 07, Daniel Eh

Violin Performance

Pavarotti in the makin
The backdrop

The 3 musketeers

SeniorsMiss Neo More seniors

I AM GETTING MARRIED!

2008-07-28T14:29:00.004+08:00

The couple

My aunt's and my family

My lovely parents

My NEPHEWS

Do not be shocked by the post. I am not getting married, at least for now. Haha. I still have like at least 6 years to go to see my future love one walking down the aisle with me. I was away from Kluang for 2 days. Had a short trip to Singapore to attend my cousin's wedding. If you notice the 1st picture up there, the bridegroom is my cousin. Handsome, right? ( sorry ladies, he's taken ). Quite a number of family members gathered in Singapore for this wedding. We all had a pretty good time chatting, catching up and just enjoyed.

Safra Resort was our residence for the 2 days we were there. It was a really high standard club and resort. The facilities are complete and the main attraction, it's located bear the sea, where you can actually walk by foot to the seaside in a matter of minutes. Stayed in a bungalow in there and there's this bowling alley that got all the kids so excited about. Haha. The dinner was held at Holiday Inn, Orchard Road. It's a very nice place but not exactly as grandeur as I imagined it to be. ( Before I entered the ballroom that is ). There's this cocktail party too where we all socialised before entering the ballroom for the banquet. They had a 2 person singing group to just entertain us with ballads after ballads throughout the dinner. The funniest part was when my cousin was pranked on the stage by a famous radio personality of Singapore. To add more spices to the wedding, they had the indian chef danced to the tune of HIPS DONT LIE with the food in his hand to kickstart the dinner. Imagine that! The chandeliers was really gorgeous too.

Well, came back home after the dinner and reached at about 2. Slept and couldnt wake up. So TZH played truant for today. Hehe. Well, I wonder whose wedding is next?

Approaching A Century...

2008-07-25T22:16:00.002+08:00

This will be my 99th post. Can you believe it? I've started out blogging for fun, as it was some sort of trend among my friends and turned it into a space where I converted my thoughts and my feelings into words. I even remembered a friend saying she's lazy to read my blog because most of the posts are very long. One even commented that I think too much through the ideas I conveyed in my posts. Haha.

The reality of STPM approaching in less than 100 days is sinking in deeper and deeper. I wonder if I will be able to telan those books and be able to work the solutions out come the exam day. Fuh. Kan Chiong-ness in the air! I got schools on Saturdays, not one but 3 of them ! Yes, I am unwilling to go but I am still going to school. All the tasks needed to be completed by the month of July is done. Some breather finally as one of the most hectic month is over. Next up is BOOKS, BOOKS and MORE BOOKS to telan. Haha.

Well, MYPG was held last Saturday and it certainly was rather "grand" I would say. I think everyone got something out of this event but like what Jit said, what was more important is that we begun by taking the 1st step to changing this country, which is LOVING IT. All the time, we say we are Malaysian but out of 10 people at least half wished to migrate from here. We are people of this nation and once we lost hope, that's it! I've been reading on couple of Asian countries lately namely North Korea and Cambodia after watching some programmes on these 2 countries. They made me open my eyes real big. Don't ask me why, just go read about it yourself! :P

Right, still got school tomorrow. So off I go to try and get some sleep.

the YANGs...

2008-07-08T21:48:00.003+08:00

Recently I've been indulging myself in some China history, sort of getting back to my roots a little. I am currently watching the series entitled YOUNG WARRIORS OF THE YANG CLAN. It's about the loyal Yang family back in the Song Dynasty. Well, they are actually more famous for their female warriors but a series was made on the guys of the family before they all died in an eppic battle, due to the evil scheme of a disloyal minister. I know, the series was way back in 2006. Call me slow or what, I dont care..

Well, the Yang really shown what it meant to persevere till the end. They were outnumbered, gave up by their king, and watched the lost of their brothers on battlefield. Yet they yielded not to the evil force. The women of the family despite the lost of their husbands, fought in their places. The way they chose to live on with life, without their other half is really admirable. This is really saddening as it happened in real life.

The way they trusted their king is really admirable too. They stood still by their king, fought for him and he chose to not believe them, leaving them to die by themselves. I remembered the father of the Yangs said THE KING MAY CHOOSE NOT TO BELIEVE THEM, BUT THEY MUST NOT CHOOSE TO DISTRUST HIM. I mean, the die-hard loyalty is really, I dont know stupid and stubborn or just plain admirable.

However, I believe we should embraced the belief the Yangs had. When things dont seem good or rather, we are like being left alone by God, we must continue to believe in. The YANGS can trust their king who was like so muddle-headed, why cant we trust our God who has never forsaken us? He will pull us through no matter what.

The perseverance is something we got to learn too. Despite being outnumbered, like there's no reinforcement, the battle is not lost yet. Even if it is, the war is not. Continue to strive harder for there will always be people fighting alongside us. I know there are people who are with me. How about you? Watch this, it's really educational, especially for bananas like me. Haha. By the way, there are quite a number of hunks too. Pretty gals ok lar. Got 1 or 2 lor. So, what are you waiting for? GO WATCH IT. WATCHED DY WATCH AGAIN!:P

Here I Am..

2008-07-06T14:53:00.002+08:00

I've received comments saying I THINK TOO MUCH, especially my posts which are full of philosophies. Well, what can I say? It's just my own thoughts and feelings mar! ( you know I am talking to you and about you! ). Hm, so here I am trying to post something less " philosophical" or whatever you call it, anything that makes you all happy.

Without realising it, july is here. School's koko day is over, with satisfying results for the ELS stall. The national physics and chemistry quiz is coming up. Come on, I paid 20 bucks for it. Got to at least spend some time studying! Haha! Got to send in an essay for the Hari Kepenggunaan Malaysia competition too. What else is there? Oh ya, lots of studies to catch up and works to complete. MYPG coming along too. Man, what a hectic month.

Eden finally won the Kluang Championship! Bravo! Yong Ling wrote about being 7th time lucky, I kind of wish that's the thing with me. 7Th year in STK, hope I can nail my STPM. Haha. Well, clock is ticking, time is running and I am shivering! Argh! Hope everything will be just fine at the end of the day..if you get what I mean...

Coincidence?

2008-06-29T12:20:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine recently posted about the art class she attended when she was much younger. The topic then got us all talking about the teacher, who seems to have tutored all of us, or rather most if not all of us went for his art class before. One friend even said we might all be classmates last time round. We never know, do we?

It was the same case too in school. Several classmates and schoolmates of mine used to be primary school friends but did not have much contact ever since enrolling into respective secondary school. In STK, they found a place to reunite once more. I remembered when I first attended YF, Paulus was shocked because I perpetually tormented his life for 2 years in tuition. Neither of us thought we would be meeting each other again, not under such a condition I guessed.

Well, I did not know Daniel Eh's sister and my sister were real good friends when I entered STK and I never expected to meet a friend from another school who attended the same kindergarten as me, perhaps even classmate and to find out the niece of my mum's friend is actually my former childhood playmate. Boy o Boy, is Kluang too small or that I did come into contact with many people?

Is this what we called COINCIDENCE? However, I believe there's more to these than just pure coincidence. I think the BIG GUY up there had this all planned out. People don't just come into our lifes. They entered for a purpose and someone once said, each and every1 enriched our life when we allow them to. Hm, true yet in a way debatable, which I wont do it here. Haha. Well, I wonder who will come into my life next?

Yesterday is HISTORY, Tomorrow is MYSTERY, Today is a GIFT. I want to make the best out of every friendship the Lord has blessed me with!You with me?

So Long..

2008-06-27T23:36:00.006+08:00

Kai Xian and Engina

Cheng Yee
King Chai

Yet another emotional weekend for most,if not all of us. Another batch of seniors will be leaving to pursue their tertiary education at respective universities comes tomorrow. It's goodbye yet again to these people, people who have bits by bits filled up certain part of my life. Well, let me just talked about a couple of them here ( I cant possibly name each and every senior, so pardon me! ).

First up, there's Kai Xian. I have known her since my primary school days in tuition. She's been a nice senior and she came to know the Lord about the same time as I am ( I think! ). Come to think of it, I forgot where exactly is she going! Sorry!

Next up, Engina. In her, I found a really nice and caring senior who took care of me ever since primary school. Of course, she and my "sis" Erin is like Twins, somehow inseparable. Haha. I seriously do miss the Leo working days. Well, she will be doing Nursing in Sunway University College. She's the one who will actually be going to the city. ( Most local U are located in pretty ulu places..Oppss)

Then, we have Lim Cheng Yee who will be doing music in UPM. Future artiste, do not be shocked if you happen to see his album! Haha. Well, I first knew of Cheng Yee as a lame guy, he still is! But his jokes do somehow bring a little joy into one's life and it's nice to be cold once in a while. Well, we certainly are going to miss his jokes, or not.By the way, he's a very very good guitarist!

Last but not least is King Chai a.k.a Ah Boon. A leader who's good with both words and people. He happened to be my senior from primary school too and somehow took care of me while I was in STK too, along with all the sarcasm and stuffs, making high school life less mundane. He's quite a girl's hearthrob I would say ( This is based on actual facts! ). Well, good at magic and playing the bass too. He's doing Political Science in UKM. I have not much of an idea about the course he's pursuing but well, I will know in time to come I guess.

Many other seniors are leaving too and I just want to wish them all the best in their uni lifes, yet another chapter in their lives. I want to say BYE BYE but as someone once said SEE YOU SOUNDS BETTER THAN BYE BYE and I know I will be seeing these people, who had made an impact in my life, one way or another very soon. Therefore, so long all my seniors!

Lessons

2008-06-21T22:32:00.003+08:00

It all started out when I decided to check my junk mail and somehow a mail from Uncle Kwan ended up there,titled AID ON LECTIONARY READING.Even till now,I got no idea why I would received such a mail.So,out of curiousity I opened and read it.

It talked about the current world,where there are two types of people,the predator and the prey.There is this group of people who try to victimize others,the strong ones,dominating and getting the best out of situation while there is another group or weaklings who succumb to the doings of the strong ones and can do nothing about it.Jesus mixed with both these type of people yet at the same time not scandalizing one another.No matter what people said or do,Jesus mixed around and shared the gospel with these people.

Many a times,people like to come out with their own set of values,own set of rules.We always look at certain things and people with our own perspective.For instance, we tend to judge certain group of people with our set of values and then we might try avoiding them. Worst of it all,we might badmouth about them.Sounds familiar?It's like an everyday scenario I guess.It's always human nature and our inabilities to swallow our pride that causes misunderstanding,which leads to hatred.We always think if people treat me badly,I should do the same or Why should I try to be better?It's like a cycle,never stopping and the cycle grows only bigger and bigger,unless we want to resolve it.

People are born with a very good abilities of words and expressions,or simply said, GREAT MIND. So often if not, I believe we always question one's motive behind something or one's reason for his/her behaviour. We will then doubt this person, dont we? Often giving a negative perception. It's not wrong, I assure you. I believe it's normal for human beings to think like that. However, what matter most is how you deal with it.

I think we should always try to bland in with each and everyone( I am learning..) and then not be influenced by them. Yes, despise them we must not but joining them is even a bigger NO. There are couple of people I have had perceptions over their conducts and even doubt them. I dont deny I still have those thinkings but I will try to give them the benefits of doubts. It's something we should all do I think, to mix with people of all classes, sharing the gospels yet not losing ourselves in the process. Let's all talk the talk, walk the walk, not LOSE THE WAY.

Have you?

2008-06-16T14:55:00.002+08:00

Have you ever feel disappointed over certain things or people?Have you ever feel yourself being a bump,just constantly getting into trouble?Have you ever feel inferior of yourself,like everything you do means nothing to people around you?Have you ever feel not appreciated,like 10 words of yours are not even equal to one from some people?Have you ever feel like shouting out of frustration?Have you ever regretted over a decision you made,realising it's too late anyway?Have you ever ask yourself why are you here for?Have you ever wonder where does your faith lies?Have you really discover Him?Have you?

Recent Happenings..

2008-06-13T19:06:00.002+08:00

In a glimpse of an eye, yet another week has gone by. It's time for weekends again! It was quite a relaxing first week back into school. This was due to teachers discussing exam papers and no classes throughout the week! I guess CALM BEFORE STORM would be the phrase to describe this past week. Well, a little updates of happenings throughout the week.

The week started out with non other than going back to school. It was a familiar yet strange feeling at the same time. Finally, the juniors are settling in while we, the seniors are left with just approximately 4 months before STPM and out of school we get. A moment everyone is excited, scared yet looking forward to. All the fresh faces and discussion about teachers they got does bring back memories of 2007. Well, it's all history by the way.

It was quite fun on Monday night as we had a surprise party for Jit! I can assure you 1 thing, REVENGE IS SWEET! I am not at any point asking you to get back at anyone, okay? It's just what we did to Jit at his house on his BIRTHDAY. Flour, water and more water was his birthday present. Haha. I still do not know who's the brilliant mastermind behind this but I think everyone enjoyed attacking him that night. I embarassed myself though. Aih~

My classmates enjoyed MAFIA when we have no teacher entering our class. Haha. It was kind of funny to notice how they really indulged themselves in the game, creating really loud noise and perpetually louder noise! It was a case of mixed feelings for my exam results though. Finally, I managed to pass all 4 subjects but with 2 subjects just making the grade. Still, I guess it's a good start although it's rather late. Everyone seem to have gotten a really painful yet efficient wake up call. It seem that every student in class now is more focus and really pushing hard for STPM. Well, PU2F1 class of 08, let's gambatte together!

A good rest is for the sake of walking a longer journey( chinese proverb). Now that I have got mine ( I believe you all had yous too), let's get ready to finish the 2nd half of the year on a high!

Water

2008-06-06T20:51:00.002+08:00

I just got back from a trip to Mersing.I wouldnt say it's a bad or a good trip,so I guess OK is the word to describe it.Spent a night over at Ying Zhi's kelong and it was rather a new experience.It's not the fancy kind of holidays most of us would prefer but it certainly does gives me a new perspective on relaxing.The calmness in the day and strong wind at night is really nice.So,thanks Ying Zhi for the hospitality!By the way,the food was great too!

Speaking about sea,I thought of WATER.Water is a very important source in our lives as all of us have learnt in science.We all need water to keep our body functioning and survive.Well,think of it from another perspective,flowing water never can be broken,right?That's just like God's love for us.Continuously running,it will never be broken.It will always be there for us.The love of God keeps us going and by His grace we are safe.Isnt that just like water?

Besides that,have you all ever been by a river?If so,have you noticed how does the river flow?It's always downstream isnt it?Christian life is just like going upstream and not down.We are called to be different and it's never an easy path.We are like going against the flow of the river,which in this case symbolises the world around us.Most of us will be comfortable following it downstream but that should not be the way.

Our lives can be compared to the sea too.The sea is not always calm.There will be waves and maybe even tsunami once in a while.It's just like stages or tests in each and everyone of our lives.At the end of the day,everything will be fine again.Water is something that will never run out,just like God's love for us all.It's up to us to decide if we want to drink water,which is whether we want to accept His love for us.

I guess as people,we are all born with a nature to try to speak our mind on almost everything,especially into our people's life.Mayb sometimes we should just give those people their deserved space and time and I believe God has already or will bring certain people into their lives to resolve those so-called "problems.Do not be tsunami to these people's lives.

Plants need water to survive.Without it,it will withered.Just like our lives,without God we will be going nowhere and withered.Right now,I do feel like a withering plant,needing "water" to rejuvenate myself once more...

What the H***!!!!!!!!

2008-05-31T23:45:00.003+08:00

Right now I need nothing but anger management class.I am fuming at this very moment.Is there something really wrong with me or what?I've had enough of all these bullshits.Maybe I should just really study and don't give whatever else a damn.There's no point really,just making myself look like an idiot....
~$^&(#Q%$&&*)#%*)(@#(_%^#

Finally..

2008-05-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

My holidays is here!After slogging out,maybe not really slogging out for my mid year exams,i am getting a 2 weeks semester break.What a way to end my 2nd sem in school.When I am back,it's really time to shift into turbo.Supposing to be a relaxing holidays but a little spoiler happened!Argh!I got only 34 for maths 1.That's like so bad.Every1 else did so well.The paper wasnt hard but I was careless here and there and didnt prepare well.Aih.Guess getting a little mediocre results in the previous test got my head bloated up.I took it too lightly.Well,Life goes on!Hope the rest of the papers are good.I aim for all passes.Haha

Well,the doors are finally opened for medical and people aid into Myanmar.Over 78K people had died and many are on the edge of dying.I am just so glad that UN had it sorter out.Hope that the Myanmar government will keep their word.I hope people there will be safe and able be to rebuild their lifes.The condition in China after the earthquake is getting better too.I am so glad.Miracles are happening and I believe God is really working in there.People are getting saved even after the "critical" hour.This shows nothing is impossible.I hope people will be able to see God and His grace through these 2 events.

Suddenly something cross my mind couple of days ago.As people are collecting donations,I cant help but to think of we wont have enough to help people as there are so many needs out there.However,if each and every1 just contribute one dollar.I mean EACH and EVERYONE.Even a small country like Malaysia can gather about 22 million dollar with its population.I mean,22 millions!If this is practice once a week,it will only cost us 4 bucks but we will be able to gather 88 million.This is more than enough to help people in need!People,think of it!It's really helpful providing it works.A penny of hope!Haha.

Right,till now today.Gotta blog more about my holidays soon,Stay tuned!

The Saga Continues..

2008-05-12T20:25:00.003+08:00

Well,today is 12th May 2008.The end of my journey as form 6 junior.I am officially a senior now!The lower 6ers just registered this morning,marking the beginning of a tough yet surprising cum enjoyable or suffering one and a half years in SMK Tinggi Kluang.

Everyone went to school really early this morning.With a little help from over 50 upper 6 students,the stage was set.It was time for the students to come and register.It sort of brings back memories of last year.It felt just like yesterday where I just stood there,getting myself registered for form 6.I was put in charge of the book counter,promoting and selling books form 6 students need.Business was fantastic.Almost every junior bought their books today itself.I took like a week to get mine last year!Haha.Quite a number of familiar faces was seen this morning and lots and lots of fresh faces in school.

All in all,it was a tiring and enjoyable day.What lies ahead is a total mystery cum surprise.I am really excited to see what will these juniors bring into my life.Haha.

Not to forget,I am totally running out of time.Man,STPM is like in 150++ days.Juniors,if you are reading this,work your butt off now!Don't think of honeymoon year!

3Ms...

2008-05-06T22:11:00.002+08:00

Been almost a week since the last entry on Eden's Day.So here I am, in front of the pc blogging when I so should be studying. Hehe. Muet exam is on thursday, speaking while the rest will be on saturday. A little nervous thinking about it. Fuh~

Well, the 3Ms I've mentioned in my title is not MEMBACA,MENGIRA and MENULIS. But rather, Master,Mission and Mate. A little something from Ryan's blog. It got me pondering on my life a little. Yes, no doubt I have known who my Master is but my Mission? No idea at all. It's like I am still trying to figure out what purpose am I here for? What are my gifts? How can I help people around me? What's the real motive behind every actions of mine? Questions after questions just popped up. Hm, the biggest of it all..HOW DO I KNOW WHAT MY MISSION IS?

I guess this is like a process in life, where we have to go through one stage before another. 1st, locating your Master, then your Mission and lastly your Mate. You cant go around without focus and orders from your Master and all the more you cant have a Mate unless you know what you want in life, right? Well, yours truly, me tend to love to skip the 2nd stage and advance to the 3rd. You would have most probably heard me saying I am looking for a gf more than I've said I am looking for a mission. Man, that's so wrong. I know and I insaf already. Haha.

Well, I guess in order to realise what my Mission is, I need to spend more time with my Master and try to learn more of Him. Our God is truly a faithful and great God. Every session of church, YF, prayer or just simply chilling with some great men who have walked with God certainly does amazed me. I envy and I do not deny I want to reach that level, but I guess all this cant be rushed. Hm..

Gotta copy something from Ryan:

Do I Want A Girlfriend?

YES!YES!YES!

But I guess before that I need to know what my Mission is, and I am single but NOT YET AVAILABLE. Something sad, right? Well, life goes on..ARGH!

Yet Another...

2008-05-01T20:09:00.002+08:00

Today is 1st of May,which happens to be Labour Day.A day where every workers(includingt students) get a rest from the daily stress.So,yours truly got a day off.But wait,1st of May also coincide with a very important day,at least for Kluangites.Today is Eden's Day!A year had passed since my entry about Eden's Day last year.Once again,the grand event most of us were looking forward to took place today at the same place,Kg Paya Hall.There was a lot of food,fun and performances taking place right there this morning.The hall was packed with people as they kept flocking into the places.

Speaking about special things at the event,2 little kids actually won the Love Sandwich Making Contest.Very admirable,right?Both of them are brothers and the sons of Ps Paul,the "boss" in Eden.I met quite a number of my teachers and also many friends whom I have not seen for a while.Hm,some really fantastic food like the famous barney's spaghetti,vietnamese mee,japanese sushi and even curry mee.The bands were fantastic.One of them actually changed the ryhthm of Keranamu Malaysia,making it a rap and rock song.The band happened to be none other than our very own Youth Ablaze,under the leadership of Cheng Yee this year.Ryan,Lydia,Merv and Mich also came back.Faces that have been missing for awhile.It was great having the big family back together!

Well,as usual I performed puppet once again.I was also a clown again.Haha.It wasnt part of my initial plan to be a clown but well,somehow I took up the job again.It wasnt as good as the 1st time I "clowned".Well,I seem to lost a little of the joy that I am supposed to have,cant seem to share it around.Got to find the joy back.Overall,I scraped through today with a few kids being scared,NONE CRIED.I watched Spider-man 3 last year around this time.This year around it's Iron Man on the big screen.Anybody interested?

Yet another day to go down into memories.Eden's Day had and will be an event that brings tonnes of fun and joy!

S.M.I.L.E

2008-04-21T16:51:00.002+08:00

I've learnt the art of counting days since entering form 6.Haha.So fast and it will be the month of May,mid year is approaching.A little stressed out?On the contrary,the lower 6 students will be coming in.How time flies.I still remembered posting about my form 6 registration and about school last year.What kind of juniors will I get?What kind of seniors will I be?Excited and nervous at the same time..Hehe.

When you grow older,you tend to face with more problems and you have to learn to resolve them.This truth is getting more and more real as we grow older,from day to day.Somehow,I dont like to accept this fact but at the same time I cant run away.Some,if not most of my friends seem stressed out,whether by studies or personal stuffs.I wonder if this situation only happens during teenage years?

I began to wonder if I am a hypocrite?Like I have said many times,I tend to talk the talk,but seldom walk the walk.My friends said I am deep,someone whom others cant seem to figure out.I dont agree but I dont deny that too.Contradicting with myself.Haha.Well,I've watched a few programmes lately and pondered about a question "What's the definition of HAPPINESS?"

To some,it meant chasing after monetary luxury while to others,it may mean staying together with people they love.It's just so abstract that there seems to be no specific word to describe it.I cant help but think about how some people could be so easily contented with just a simple life.Some would even find joy in helping others.There are also a group of people who dwelled in moodiness and blamed everyone for everything that happens.Whatever it is,only we ourselves can discover what does this simple word really meant to us.

I do believe somehow,a smile will always make a huge difference.Therefore everyone,smile more!There's alot of things in this world worth to be happy about.Stressed out you may be,but as long as you can smile,things will never seem impossible.

Gambatte to myself and all of you!Ah..time for nap!haha

I Am Back!

2008-04-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

Hola!I am back to the on9 world!It's been 3 days since I last on9 and my computer had finally came back from the factory this afternoon.I certainly do miss it!Right,so what has been happening?I scratched my car,again!Been wasting my time as usual and going through certain stuffs.

Well,news came by about Mr Nada's death this morning and it pretty much shocked the school.However,some people can actually still joke about it.I don't know if I am guilty of doing it too but I guessed he deserved our last respect.It just took another hit at me that life is very fragile.Every second you have here on earth ought not be wasted.You never really know what will happen the next moment you turned around.I have been learning a lot of things the hard way and I am really not making much progress here.Time to take one thing at a time.8 more months,how much can I make out of it?

TZH is officially sick free,though still with a little bit of cough.

Figure Out..

2008-04-07T23:39:00.004+08:00

I've figured out I am actually pretty good with words.I've figured out I have been blessed with the ability to speak and communicate better than others.I've figured out I am pretty good at analysing situations or problems.I've figured out I can actually do something if I put my heart to it,achieving what others may deemed impossible.

I've also figured out I am a rash guy,doing and saying things without thinking.I've also figured out I always do or say certain things from my point of view,what I felt is correct and not spare a thoughts about others.I've also figured out the way I talked hurts others and sometimes,if not most boastful.I've also figured out I am fast to speak and slow to listen.

I've figured all that out.So,what's next?

It's time to make the best use and minimise or cut off the bad habits of my "gifts"...

Frustration..

2008-04-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

I know it's rather funny trying to vent my frustration here,in my blog.It's sort of like trying to gain attention but I aint.It's just I want to get certain things off and I have no better ways to channel it.Certain things are really just driving me nuts.It's tiring pretending everything is all right,putting up a brave front that I am always a cheerful guy.Argh!!!!!!I just feel like shouting out right now!Studies,family,faith and so much more.All these problems seem to continue to add on,like a snowball,growing bigger and bigger.Lord,I need Your strength to pull through,You wisdom to solve problems.If you happen to see a quieter version of me,don't be shocked.It's just me trying to give myself some space.PLUS I am still sick..

Footprints...

2008-04-03T20:09:00.003+08:00

I think most,if not all of us have been to the seaside or a beach,right?Nothing beats a slow walk by the sea,with the cool sea breeze blowing right at you.It's just so relaxing.Well,have you ever notice the footprints you left behind on the sand while you were walking?

Someonce once said that every steps we take in life will leave footprints in the lifes of others.In other words,every action we take will certainly have its impact on one party or another.This obeys Newton's 3rd law of motion which states EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION.Haha!This leads me to think that friends are like people who walk on the sand,leaving footprints on it.Who's the sand?We all are.Everyday of our lifes is like a diary being filled up,with different people leaving behind different footprints in our life.All the more we should treasure each and everyone of them,right?

Friendship is a special kind of relationship,built on a simple word called TRUST.Though the word may be simple,it's hard to really put it into practice.It's human nature to be protective over oneself and be wary of people around us,thus leading to us not putting total trust in people.Should this really be the way?Jesus have stated that we should Love Others Like Ourselves.Do you doubt yourself?I don't think so.I believe every single person that comes into our lives are not by chance.Sometimes we tend to outcast certain people in our lives,for any reason that is.I guess that's not something very nice to do but we are all guilty of it,right?Perhaps we should try to take off the 'spectacles' we have and try to mix around?Argh!Easy to say but hard to do..

Back to footprints.Sometimes we are walking at such a fast pace that we tend to forget to look behind,not just at our footprints but people and things we have missed out on.We tend to think the faster we reached the destination,or goal,the better it is.But if we force ourselves to walk at such a pace that we overlook other things,that's not something good hey?Or that we force ourselves to walk at other people's pace,we will end up being nowhere and crash badly.So,take your time in this stroll of life.Of course,don't take life as a lazy Sunday drive.Walk at a pace you are comfortable with and leave some really longlasting footprints in the lifes of others.

I don't really know what I am posting this.Just felt like it.It's sorta like a combination of the little stuffs I have written in each and every blogpost of mine.Just a random one..:)

Zhi Howe's Believe It Or Not!

2008-03-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

Muet trials ended.Results not out yet but I guess I did okay.It certainly had been a tiring week for me.I had like less than 4 hours of sleep everyday.It was partly due to preparing for test,and partly due to me enjoy using tv and pc.Haha!Well,I failed my chemistry and physics but miraculously did quite okay for maths 1,not maths 2 thus making my maths an average result.The clock is ticking as STPM comes calling.Argh!I got a few comments made about me by teachers.I guess I got to accept those and worked on my weaknesses.

Speaking of unbelievable stuffs,I actually took part in the Kluang District High School Chinese Debate.For some,if not all of you who don't know,I actually hailed from a government primary school.Therefore my education level in chinese is almost 0.But according to some people,I have the ability to debate,or argue and a pretty good(nasty) mouth and so I became part of the team.I was only a back up though,not a first choice speaker.This experience had really taught me alot more about chinese culture,something I definitely lack of being a Chinese myself.I wasnt so "chinese" Chinese ever since young.Well,STK lost but we did our best.I really enjoyed the process though.From getting a team ready by Friday,meeting up and discussing the points last night to preparing the script this morning we were basically preparing under the pressure of not having enough time.But what we showed was way better than what we had expected as it was above average according to the judges.I mean,only 2 days!

Right now I am very sick,with a really sore throat and cough that doesnt seems to stop.Time to look for Zhou Gong.Still cant believe I took part in Chinese debate?Believe it!

STRESS!!!!!!!!

2008-03-25T18:09:00.002+08:00

First curriculum test ended today,with MUET trials beginning tomorrow till Friday.Finally,some breathing space.I havent exactly been revising hard but now that the "stress" is gone,things certainly look better.April is coming,signalling the arrival of the only day where you can joke without paying the price(of course no very extreme jokes!).I've finished nearly almost a quarter of year 2008,another three quarter to walk before my form 6 life ended.How much impact can I leave in my friends' life?

I've heard stories of people disliking me ever sinc young.I always thought that's not much of a big deal.Truth is,it's a very big deal!If one person says one thing,maybe it's bias but if whole loads of them?Perhaps it's time to take a deep breath,slow down your steps and reflect about yourself.I guess I need to start doing that soon.Cheng Yee wrote on his blog,a boy is one who has power and a man is one who can control his.I certainly have been or still in the stage of a boy but a man is what I got to be.

Mouth is a very useful tool.I don't deny the fact that I've sort of been blessed with pretty good language skills and communication skills.Whether or not I've put that to good use is still questionable.However,I am rather sure I've hurt many on the way.It's important to sort out your grudge and all with people before it's too late.So here I want to apologise if I've hurt you,both intentional or unintentionally.Anyways,back to lighter stuffs.

Opps!Nothing light to write about!Haha!Well,we are always told to undo to others what you want others to undo to you.Let's take it a step further like what the Bible says,Do unto others what you want others to do to you.In this way,we are not only avoiding trouble but are actually stopping trouble.Sounds good?

Let's all learn to be man and not boy!

p/s:TZH is extremely sleep therefoer any mistake in the passage is unintentional..

Good Friday..

2008-03-21T23:19:00.002+08:00

2008 years ago,a baby was born into this world.30 years later,he was crucified on the cross for crimes he did not commit.Sounds unreal?Sounds familiar?Well,this is a true story about Jesus,son of God who died on the cross for our sins.Today is Good Friday,which is a remebrance of what happened in Jerusalem long long time ago.

I felt grateful and blessed for what Jesus has done,because he totally need not do so.I mean,somebody's else's fault and you are willing to take the rap,even if it cost you your life.Will you do that?I don't think I can or I will.This shows the submission Jesus has for his father,our almight God,our father in heaven.I wouldnt be who am I today had it not been for Jesus's action 2000 years ago.No greater is one who will lay down his life for a friend.Jesus laid down his life for everyone of us.Isnt this like the greatest love of it all?

Yosh was speaking about Martha and Mary during YF and I did not really felt much about the topic besides how we should build a relationship.It was while worshipping earlier that it struck me.I have been so indulged in so-called serving in yf and church by doing PA,projection and some other running around stuffs.I left a loophole in my own walk;I did not spend enough time with God.I was just like Martha,preparing and working so hard,thinking that is what God wanted but I missed out on the most important aspect.I am not like Mary,not listening to what God has to say to me.

When things go wrong,I would start asking why.But I forgot the most essential thing,which is to be thankful and have faith.I was not selected for the school basketball team.Agony and pain was what I felt right at the beginning,but I have decided to accept and respect the team's decision and from how they played today,I think I have made a right choice.Growing up is really a painful yet necessary process.Aih~

Anyways,Easter is this Sunday.Bunnies anyone?

Happiness..Faithfulness..

2008-03-16T21:47:00.002+08:00

Well,tomorrow school resumes and test is coming in two weeks time.Unfinished homeworks left me with little time to prepare for the test.Blame myself for slacking too much.Argh!Hm,this short holidays will end in another 2 hours time.I've been looking forward to holidays where I can just sleep,rest and play!This is due to the SPM break that I've got.Couldnt overcome the enjoy syndrome yet.Haha.

Ryan will be leaving for Singapore next Wednesday while Mun will be going for NS on the same day too,making it a rather emotional week for most of us.Ryan led worship in both yf and church,stressing on God's faithfulness on both ocassions.It struck my mind that what Ryan said was very true,isnt it?In times of need,who do we look for?God of course but when things are bad,who do we curse?God too.This goes to show no matter what we do,God is still with us.

Many a times,we failed and we struggled but somehow we managed to pull through.Ever wonder why?I guess God's grace is the answer.God's faithfulness and love is just like our parents' where He will never ever give up on us.It's only we who choose to give up on Him.We never know what lies ahead and what tomorrow will brings,but if we commit and surrender to God,i believe he will guide us through.:)

Someones once said,without unhappiness we will not know what happiness is.It's rather true isnt it?In our search for happiness we always end up being frustrated and drained out.The book of Ecclesiastes wrote about how Solomon try to search for happiness but ended up being more unhappy and tired,until he acknowledged that God is the true source of happiness.It's like chasing after the wind,a never-ending race with no results if we try to pursue happiness on our own.

Life is all about being contented,isnt it?The world is certainly more beautiful when we are being content..:)