As expected,I did not get into USM as well. Apparently, all the top institutions seem elusive to me with my results. Sure, I have more than enough reasons to give thanks. However, the human's regrets always stick around with us, especially me. This is the first time in life when I experience constant rejection, one after another. A blow to the face, then the chest and everywhere else that is vulnerable. I am disliking the feeling of waiting, not knowing what will come out of it. I am starting to get abit pissed with myself. Why did I, a guy who knew what exactly he needed and a lot more other stuffs, fooled around with life, and ended up stuck in the middle of nowhere. I am gonna hang on for a little while more, I don't know how much is left of me, but definitely not much. I want to do Your will..
TZH out..hoping for one miracle in life..
Friday, May 29, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Week 21
It's approximately one more month before I leave for university. The results are still pending while some friends already made up their mind about where they are going to be, at least for the next 3 to 4 years. This week has been yet another packed week with 2 trips, 1 to Malacca and travelling to JB tomorrow. The Malacca trip was to bring Victor around and hang out with Gideon before he leaves for MMU. It was nice catching up on the old times and seeing your reactions to those events! >.<
I will be travelling down to JB with Paulus to visit the Hebronites. Trying to munch out as much beneficial moments as possible from my holidays. I think my engine is definitely oil-less. Needs a lot of power to start it up again. Aih~ Pollution is already bad nowadays! >.< On lighter note, I just watched Angels and Demons. It's not bad but I definitely preferred The Da Vinci Code more. Just so not to spoil it for those who havent watch, I wont go into detail about the movie.
I will be watching Night At The Museum 2 this coming Sunday. Dumb Dumbs, anyone want Gum Gum?:P
I will be travelling down to JB with Paulus to visit the Hebronites. Trying to munch out as much beneficial moments as possible from my holidays. I think my engine is definitely oil-less. Needs a lot of power to start it up again. Aih~ Pollution is already bad nowadays! >.< On lighter note, I just watched Angels and Demons. It's not bad but I definitely preferred The Da Vinci Code more. Just so not to spoil it for those who havent watch, I wont go into detail about the movie.
I will be watching Night At The Museum 2 this coming Sunday. Dumb Dumbs, anyone want Gum Gum?:P
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Mixed Fortunes
A thoroughly active week along,with 5 days of exercise. I hope Mr Fats is on his way out of my body with all these. Haha. It's been a week of mixed fortunes, like I have stated. I found out I got rejected by NUS, finally. After weeks of agonising, wondering if it's a ray of hope or just a pure illusion, the answer is out. You guessed it! It was the latter. I will appeal anyway, since it's free. Hehe.
On the bright side of things, I got accepted by UNITEN to study Civil Engineering. I am still waiting for the local U's results. A little worried cause I put NO when they asked if I am willing to accept other courses. But, nothing can be done, right? Learning faith, waiting and trusting Him. Can't help but to always think of the gains and losses throughout my 2 years stay after form 5. I know, I am emo! >.< Well, I have come to a point of trying to look at things from a different perspective.
Matthew 6 : 33 has been some sort of reminder for me to seek Him first and a promise that the rest will be added unto me. Perhaps I am asking too much of Him and seek Him for what He can do, not who He is. Changing that! >.< I want to learn to be like Job, and not the Israelites. To continue to believe and worship Him even when things look tough. 2009, what will be written of me at the end of this year?
On the bright side of things, I got accepted by UNITEN to study Civil Engineering. I am still waiting for the local U's results. A little worried cause I put NO when they asked if I am willing to accept other courses. But, nothing can be done, right? Learning faith, waiting and trusting Him. Can't help but to always think of the gains and losses throughout my 2 years stay after form 5. I know, I am emo! >.< Well, I have come to a point of trying to look at things from a different perspective.
Matthew 6 : 33 has been some sort of reminder for me to seek Him first and a promise that the rest will be added unto me. Perhaps I am asking too much of Him and seek Him for what He can do, not who He is. Changing that! >.< I want to learn to be like Job, and not the Israelites. To continue to believe and worship Him even when things look tough. 2009, what will be written of me at the end of this year?
Friday, May 1, 2009
Success Re-Defined?
The question today is DEFINE SUCCESS.
My life was structured on results in the past. In other words, studies. I can actually say I am quite proud at my own achievements since young and no, i wasn't just lucky. I did pay for it with my own hard work, which was not seen by most of you. So, when form 6 comes by, I thought I could fare equally well but boy, was I wrong enough. I managed to scrape through the momentary "hell", both emotionally and physically(studies) and I was struck with the 1st setback in my student life. Lo and behold, my friends started talking about what university they should choose and if they should head to Singapore and here I am, not even knowing what will come next.
Pastor Paul asked me a question on the day I did a career development test. He asked What Was My Biggest Setback throughout life and I answered him my form 6 life. The reply he gave was somewhat encouraging yet scary. He told me that this is just a small setback and in times to come, the road will be harder. I am trying my best to cling onto my faith and put aside all my personal jealousy towards my friends who did really well. I couldn't help but think of the WHAT IFS. Aih~
Psalms 107 was a comforting passage as I found out on Wednesday. It speaks of us having the privilege to call unto God when we are in distress and He will hear us. This is like a promise from Him to provide miracle when there seems none. Right now, I am learning to have faith. I am telling myself that I need to make the best of every opportunity and every moment in life. Right now, I am redefining success. I hope that I will be able to do what I am, where I am, if it's Your will..
My life was structured on results in the past. In other words, studies. I can actually say I am quite proud at my own achievements since young and no, i wasn't just lucky. I did pay for it with my own hard work, which was not seen by most of you. So, when form 6 comes by, I thought I could fare equally well but boy, was I wrong enough. I managed to scrape through the momentary "hell", both emotionally and physically(studies) and I was struck with the 1st setback in my student life. Lo and behold, my friends started talking about what university they should choose and if they should head to Singapore and here I am, not even knowing what will come next.
Pastor Paul asked me a question on the day I did a career development test. He asked What Was My Biggest Setback throughout life and I answered him my form 6 life. The reply he gave was somewhat encouraging yet scary. He told me that this is just a small setback and in times to come, the road will be harder. I am trying my best to cling onto my faith and put aside all my personal jealousy towards my friends who did really well. I couldn't help but think of the WHAT IFS. Aih~
Psalms 107 was a comforting passage as I found out on Wednesday. It speaks of us having the privilege to call unto God when we are in distress and He will hear us. This is like a promise from Him to provide miracle when there seems none. Right now, I am learning to have faith. I am telling myself that I need to make the best of every opportunity and every moment in life. Right now, I am redefining success. I hope that I will be able to do what I am, where I am, if it's Your will..
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