Monday, March 30, 2009

WIDE 101

Hi people! I have just finished the WIDE 101 training under Pastor Kelly on both Friday and Saturday. It was indeed a fruitful course as I learnt a lot more about basic Christianity chores, and the real meaning behind doing it. I also realised how choosy I am when it comes to interacting and knowing people. I supposed all this helps to further prepare me for my university life which will starts in July. Argh! I am so leaving home this time round.

Well, on the lighter side of things, I got to know some new buddies, namely the Hebronites who called themselves Ezra,Ezri and David. Well, it was quite a nice 2 days training with all the mamak-ing and lunch hour together. The on field training gave me a knock on my head though. I realised how choosy and cowardice I am when it comes to reaching out to people and knowing strangers. I am known as the talkative guy everywhere I go so I guess I will really need to live up to my name?Haha. Overall, I really am thankful to Pastor Kelly for this training and I am looking forward to 201!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A mixed of things..

Is it as we grow older, we will be held down by more than just responsibilities? Our future, our own lives. The fearful journey of growing up, where your own life seem to be above all else. What really is important? What really is the fundamental? The cruelty of time seems more obvious with each second passing by. It seems so hard to live your lives ideally, or at least different from how you picture it. So many things I have planned yet all just evaporates like gases into the air. Regrets, a feeling when you couldn't get things done in time. Agree? We all live to have more than one regret yet how do we stop ourselves from falling down again and again? Getting cut for more than once is certainly not wise, after all once bitten, twice shy. Yet, we heed not the advice but rather choose to crashland, adding miseries to ourselves and others on the way. Like fire burning scars into their lifes. Weird, everyone is walking at their own pace. Is anyone even stopping to take a look at the surrounding? Or am I too biased? The fragility of life is getting more and more evident with your age going up. What exactly is human thirsty for? Or rather, the soul? Ponderings after ponderings. I somehow miss...

..School
..Sleeping in class
..writing notes
..talking to friends
..exams
..YOU

TZH out emo-ing..

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Return of The Fallen..

I've decided not to give up my space for thoughts after all. I know, I memang "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" since young in everything, so I couldn't bid goodbye to my blog for more than a week. Right now, I don't have anything in particular to post yet but I certainly will continue to express what I think and feel here in this blog. Like it or not, you're stuck to reading them. Unless you choose not to visit this site, which I guess many of you would? PROVE ME WRONG! Haha!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Miracle of The Moment

The writer of this blog sincerely thanks each and everyone of you for your words of encouragement and just making him known he's not walking alone. Yes, he did not do very well. Yes, he felt angry at himself. And yes, he felt he prioritise wrongly, procrastinated and did not put his heart anywhere near the word STUDY.

Then again, he could looked at it this way. He only started preparing a month before exam. He only did like 2 or 3 hours of study everyday, that was also with a lot of breaks in between. He knew he did not put his heart into studying yet he did nothing much to fix it. Still, he nailed a 3.00 compared to many others. No doubt, it's not the best of result in his life but this was really something special. This taught him a good lesson in life, preparing him to face the coming days of university and life. He's still searching for his purpose so he can fully maximise every single breath in life.

He remembered a friend once asked IF YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE, WILL YOU TURN TIME AROUND TO CHANGE SOMETHING? The writer would love to but of course, yesterday is history and tomorrow is always a mystery. Today is a gift and that's the miracle of the moment. If the writer had not gone through all this, he would still indulged in a "selamba" attitude in everything. For now, he's learning to enjoy the miracle of the moment. This is what he supposed make life so special. The days that passed by will serve as both memory and lesson and continously guiding him in the near future. After all, he can only work on today and change tomorrow, no? It's time to let go...

The writer is thankful for he knew he deserved none of all this and here he had just discovered a song called

Miracle of The Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJfDIlPtv74

He hopes this song helps all those who are discouraged and those who are confused with their options. Enjoy! A smile always make a gloomy day better, no? =)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Right Now..

I feel relieved. Results were released earlier today. I did okay I guess. It would be a lie if I say there wasn't the slightest disappointment this morning. I was not only broken, I was totally crushed by what I got. Many people have said I got more than I deserved, considering how much effort I put in. I don't intend to blame anyone for my results and indeed I do feel envy of many of my classmates who did so well. I am just a mere human and therefore I can't help but to feel I should have done better. However, I realised one thing. It is at such time that I truly understand the meaning of grace. Looking at my situation, I do not deserve many things that happened to me, the so-called success for the past 18 years all the way to this morning's 4Bs. I couldn't possibly accomplished all these without Him and I am learning to give thanks in the worst of situation. Nobody ever promised that a Christian life would be one without obstacles and the older you grow, both spiritually and physically, the harder things get. I totally do not deserve His love for me, yet He chose to love me. Surely there is no better way to learn of grace than this..

Friday, March 6, 2009

A Choice..

The date is set. The verdict will be given on the 10th of March, 2009. After a long trial of 4 months, the case will be laid to rest. People involved from all over Malaysia will be there to witness the final result. Some will shed tears of joy, while others, disappointed, broken and shattered. Not forgetting those who will be shocked of the result, those who jump beacuse of excitement and of course those who, as always remain calm. Whatever it is, no denying 10th of March will be a day of mixed emotions.

Haha! Sounded very serious, right? It's actually the date for the release of STPM 2008 results. Of course, as always I am very nervous and excited at the same time. One thing is for sure, I got nothing much to lost this time round. No doubt, Mr Pride has been hurt badly and has since been laid to rest in peace. I wonder if I zombified him and not killed him cause he comes back now and then to haunt me. Aiks. Still, it has not been an easy journey to taking the STPM examinations. People always say it's super hard and yes, I agree with that but that doesnt gives you an excuse not to do it! Nothing is easy after all, right? As the saying goes, no pain no gain. I certainly hope I will gain something out of my results, a placement in university. Hehe.

I believe most people are quite nervous right now. Some because they felt they did not prepare, others fearing lady luck will stop smiling on them. Breathe and take it slow. After all, the question remains, what can you do? Not as if the government would change your B for an A just because you are scared. ( I know, some must been saying I very not thoughful. Don't stone me! )
Well, it's always about a choice. Just as you all have chosen to do form 6 and not college. So you all now have a choice to believe or not believe. To accept or to despair?

Jeremiah 29 : 11 " For I know the plans I have for you "
Romans 8 : 28 " And we know in all that things, God works for the good of those who love him"
Psalm 23 : 5 " Your rod and your staff, they comfort me "

All these verses have been sort of keeping me relaxed for now. The butterflies are not giving up on multiplying in my stomach though. Yes, we have tried on our own strength and have failed numerous times. In addition, we have also not that much confidence, with people saying a lot around us. However, why not try to let YOUR BOSS UP THERE does the job since you have done your part?

I choose to have faith and accept whatever comes by. You with me?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

YMI 2

Here I am, sitting in front of my desktop after a one week journey through Perak and Kedah. For those who did not know, I was in Tapah for a short mission stint before going to Alor Setar to join a prayer gathering. The team this time consisted of 10 people instead of pairs as in the case of the previous mission. It was really hard labour, no doubt. But despite the work and fatigue, all of us really enjoyed ourselves. I learnt a lot on agriculture and simple construction. Trust me, you need to try mixing cement and mengcangkul for yourself to feel the OHM. Haha.

Well, I think throughout this trip, God has been teaching me the same thing He taught since my STPM finished. I need to choose to believe in Him and worry less about what will happen, especially since STPM results will be out in less than 2 weeks. The agony, joy and disappointment will all be revealed very soon. Butterflies are definitely multiplying inside my stomach. I am scared and worried but I will choose to have faith, whatever will be will be. Hehe.

It was quite fun to explore Malaysia as I enjoyed travelling. I thank God for this opportunity to visit places like Alor Setar and Tapah. I believe there's more to come. Oh yea, not forgetting the people we met, whom really gave us a warm welcome and home feeling. Thank you to Uncle Young Soon and family in Tapah. Not forgetting of course, Auntie Siew Har and family in Kedah.
Thanks alot to Elisabeth too for inviting us to Kedah. Really nice knowing you people=)

I will post up pictures from the trip as soon as possible. So, stay tune.

Are you challenged now to go for mission? Haha..